Hi. I have been unhappily divorced since November 2010. I love her. We have two great kids together. I have started a blog to try and help me deal with and maybe raise a little money to help me get back on track and maybe winner her back and restore my family.When your done here if you have a little extra time check out my blog and if you like it sign up as a follower.maybe we can help each other work through this.


thekindnessofstrangers2011.blogspot.com/

Sorry Man. Divorce indeed sucks. Every situation is different and it's hard to give advice on such a thing, particularly via the internet and not knowing you at all...

So I'll just tell you my experience and hope it helps, though it's probably not exactly what you want to hear... Luckily, I didn't have children, so I didn't have that concern. It took me about 3 months (you're just about there) to realize the relationship was gone. Signed my divorce papers on Valentine's Day even. (That sucked.) I then took about 4 more months to deal with that and get my own head back on straight. Then about a year of figuring out how to be single at 27. And just about the time I figured that out, I met my current (and last) wife.

I was totally blindsided by my divorce. Had no idea it was coming. Didn't want it. Wanted to figure out what happened and fix it. I loved her. But it took a long long time to realize the person I fell in love with no longer existed, and hadn't for quite some time. She was pretending to still be that person. Life as I had known it was completely obliterated. Hardest thing I've ever been through, and I wouldn't change it for the world now. Life is weird. Life is grand.

So... while I feel for you Dewey, and I know it really hurts now... my advice is to focus on you, and focus on the kids. YOU are the priority now. YOU have to be straight in order to take care of yourself and your children.

You cannot 'win' someone. If they aren't willing to be there, NOTHING you can do will change that. That's on them.

Good luck Sir. (and, um, welcome to DadLabs)

Sad to hear Dewey, but hang in there. Time does heal, and people inevitably change, sometimes into people we don't know. (Especially when we've known them from a very early age.)

Just my two cents, but why would you want to be with someone who would leave you so destitute? Granted, I don't know your situation, but I have survived through my share of heartbreak and heartache, and am so fortunate that none of those wishes to have them back ever came true! There's a good Garth Brooks song that reminds us that what we need is what we get, "Unanswered Prayers".

I feel for you, I know you are going through a tough time right now, but be strong for your kids if no one else. Don't forget about their pain in all of this and be selfish once you've met the emotional needs of your kids as a dad. So many kids go down a bad path when their parents divorce, so just give them reassurance that you are not divorcing them in any way!

Yeah, Welcome to DadLabs, first off.

Divorce is hard and sometimes the legal system makes it all the tougher.

What I can tell you is that it will get better. You'll start seeing how things will be just fine before you're ready to let it be fine. And then one day, it'll be just a memory and not an aching pain.

Having kids together makes it tougher, for sure.

I didn't have kids with my first wife. But I remember telling someone that I knew the name of the town their college was in in Iowa because someone I knew went there. It was my ex-wife and we even named our dog after it. But at that time, I couldn't remember it for the life of me. That's a luxury I had that you probably won't get.

Good luck and make sure to breathe.

Welcome to the lab. Also sorry to hear of your troubles. Some experienced voices have already chimed in. I don't have much more to add, other than to encourage you to use this forum to ask questions and share your experiences.

Hope to see you around. Good luck keeping your parenting on track as you navigate troubled waters.