Hi everyone. My name is Pat and I've been doing the stay at home dad gig now for 7 years. My wife and I have a 6 year old boy, a 4 year old girl and a little guy just starting to walk. We were both in the Air Force when we decided that I would be the stay at home dad while she pursued a commision. She's still in and still working on that commision..ugh, but we'll get there. I'm also a full time student (night classes) and an artist. I have shows here in the Springs and keep pretty busy with the three kids, wife, two dogs and two cats.

The odd thing though is that the whole SAHD duty never bothered me before but for some reason I'm starting to see signs that the shell is cracking. I have less patience than before and feel run down just about always. My wife goes to work then comes home while I take off for school only to get back from class to find the house (which I cleaned earlier) destroyed. I live in a world where I seem to work 24/7 and spend nearly every second taking care of someone else's crap...sometimes literally.

Guess this is a pretty normal issue with a lot of stay at home parents but as a guy, we not only get zero respect for the choice to parent but also pull double duty. We do the "women's" work all week and then still have to go out and clean the gutters and mow the lawn. To boot, saying you're stressed and feeling cabin fever creeping in is like admitting that everyone was right when they said you couldn't do this job because of your ovary deficiency.

I don't know if anyone else has felt this way but on top of the normal duty I have always felt like I needed to do more than "just" watch three kids so I added on school and work. Seems like a no brainer that I would be stressed and worn thin but what is the alternative? Going from a job where I was in charge of things, people, missions to being taken for granted and placed near the bottom of the totem pole.....Grr.

okay...vent over.
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I can understand I am a stay at home dd as of Aug. of last year up until then I worked 10 12 hours a day. due to medical problems I don't work anymore taking care of the kids is a hell of a job and I love spending time with them but it can drive me a bit nuts at times its not what I am use to I do find myself needing more then just being around the house all the time. And I have only been doing it since Aug. don't know how I will be after 7 years good luck.

The first one is the hardest I think because you are plunging into something new. For me it took about 6-8 months to real nail down my schedule, hone my cooking abilities and feel comfotable. Being in the house is tough. I lived in Germany when my first was born and I would load him into a hiking backpack and go out for long walks through all the grape fields and pastures. You have to get out and do things or you'll get cabin fever.

It's just been a long winter for me. Time to get out and do some camping and hiking.

First of all, awesome work. You've already accomplished something most guys could never dream of pulling off. And you've been doing it for the long haul. After 7 years, it's kind of a natural cycle to be wearing thin.

Probably getting to be time to find a little more time for yourself. School doesn't really count. Getting back to the trails is a great idea. I think you've earned that. Ask your wife for a few more hours a week to get out by yourself, without the kids, to go on hike.

I bet you would find you come back more ready to make the sacrifices required.

Keep up the amazing work.

Ya i found time for myself is key even if its only a little bit . I have a shop out behind our house and when my wife gets home I go out there I make wooden ink pens and wooden wall hangings for kids rooms no less it started as something I did for my kids but now I do them and sell them at craft shows but at least its something to do keeps my mind going on more then just taking care of the kids. And it helps that my wife and I have great family around that love to take the kids from time to time on a weekend so we can spend some time together like tonight no kids it so quiet its unreal.