Well, the land down under I mean...you know, Australia. In the words of that hilarious AbbyLyn, there's another set of melons in the banana bin. I'm about 35 weeks pregnant (a boy!) and have been loving the dadlabs site since I found out we were having a baby.

My husband is not a tech-head or much of an internet user so I am our official e-representative. There are OK Mummy blogs out there but I find them slightly condescending in that they overplay the 'mother's instinct' line and seem to put this pressure on you to be so serene and perfect and have/do it all. Gimme a break! Plus few contain the hilarity or dirty words you'll find here. Dadlabs seems to take a much more realistic approach to parenting.

Hey if you guys are ever short on blog or video topics (as if) I'd love to know:

1. What kind of personal experiences has anyone had introducing pets to the new baby? I have a near and dear piece of fluff at home who I know will be very jealous to see me cuddling someone else! (It's a dog btw, not my husband)

2. Was there anything that got you through the early times with a newborn as a dad? I plan to express so my husband can have a feed and cuddle too, but did anyone enjoy any parts of the experience? I want to make sure we split baby duties but make sure he gets some 'fun' stuff to do. I already bought a carrier so he can wear the little dude and all the women can swoon over him.

I'm sure you'll see me around, keep up the good work guys.

I think I found the Aussie version of me. Yay for more melons! I know what you mean about the mommy sites. I have been posting more on BabyCenter recently, but there is a huge overabundance of pregnancy hormones floating around that place. Bitches can be crazy. (there are some nice chicks though. So far everyone in the Asian/American Families group have been nice).
I would also like to hear some advice on introducing the dogs to the new baby. I don't know how my weiner dog is going to react when it comes to the little guy. He is so neurotic as it is, I'm sure the new wailing pink thing taking all the attention away from him isn't going to be all too easy for him to handle.

And as long as we are throwing ideas out there, how about a blog/video about traveling with newborns? Tim and I want to take our little guy to the Philippines to meet his (huge) family over there. I'm sure you guys have some tips on traveling with baby.

Anyways. Welcome to the Labs, Jinky!

Hi from another Aussie (melbourne)!

What kind of personal experiences has anyone had introducing pets to the new baby?

We have two cats, and they generally ignored the bub for quite a while. We ensured that they didn't have access to him while he was sleeping. We slowly introduced him and would tell him to be gentle with the friendlier of the two cats (and avoided him crossing paths with the less friendly). Generally speaking, two years after birth, the cats and the bub still only casually glance at each other. There's not been a great deal of interest from either side yet.


Was there anything that got you through the early times with a newborn as a dad?

The carrier is a great idea.

On the feeding side, my wife was unable to breastfeed, so we had express milk, then formula. We had a system where she would feed him in the early evening, and make sure she got to bed by 9pm. I'd stay up, and do the a feed around 11pm, and then go to bed by midnight. When he woke at 3am, my wife would do that feed. That way, when we woke up around 6-7am each day both of us would have had at least a six hour unbroken sleep each (plus extras post-3am feed in the case of my wife).

I'm not sure whether one exists in your area, or your husband's flexibility during business hours, but you might want to ask at your maternal health centre if there's a local dad's group. We have one in my area, and it's been a great way to talk to other dads about concerns, interests, cameras, etc, as well as a way for the kids to socialise.

If he's not fearful of books, my favourites were 'Be Prepared' for practical advice and 'Crawling' for a story of a dad's first year as a father.

Welcome, congrats and good luck Jinky!

+1 (Welcome and Good Luck.)

As for how to include a dad in the experience, I think it varies quite a bit. Bottle feeding isn't the same as other options and I just never felt that it was "special". One observation I've made and that I've heard some other dads make is that babies tend not to seem human to us until they start developing a personality. That's probably around six weeks. Before that, it's easier to lose our temper and walk away from the baby. Don't take this as a sign of something horrible. We don't have that 9 months of bonding. We start building our relationship when all the dirty work (from our perspective, anyway) begins. It takes a while, especially with the first child.

What kind of personal experiences has anyone had introducing pets to the new baby?

When we came home from the hospital we let my in laws watch him for a few minutes before we brought our son home. Unfortunately..I mean fortunately they live just down the street from us. We had been gone for over a week and knew that our dogs would be excited to see us. We wanted the introduction to be as calm as possible. After we had spent a few minutes with them went on a short walk we brought him home. After all the worry and concern they sniffed his little head then went about their doggy business. They could care less for the most part about him. They are about 10 years old so I guess that doesn't surprise me. I guess it could have gone either way though. We are really lucky that they are happy to coexist. For now anyway. I'm sure things change...

Also make sure to check with your vet and get everything up to date. Our vet also recommended a parasite test just to make sure they weren't carrying anything they could pass to the baby. It didn't cost very much at all.

Was there anything that got you through the early times with a newborn as a dad?

First off, I'm still getting through the early times myself. My son is about 4.5 months old now. I'd have to say the best thing that helped me get through the first few weeks were my in-laws and my parents. They helped out A LOT. They helped walk the dogs, pick up prescriptions at the pharmacy, groceries, diapers and stuff. Don't hesitate to ask for help. It seemed weird for me at the time to ask them to do things that I was fully capable of doing myself. As a man I wanted to do everything and take care of my family but I quickly realized that it allowed me to spend more time with my wife and baby and take care of them in a better less frazzled way.

Welcome Jinky! Love having folks from down under. Just proves how universal this experience is.

Brad has a hilarious story about introducing the baby to his Rottie.

I think a really important thing about getting dad involved with the baby: let him do things his way. If he dresses the baby funny, don't say anything. If he diapers a different way, keep your mouth closed. Allow him to find a sense of confidence about caring for the baby. He will feel awkward at first, and needs encouragement (and/or silence) to hit his stride.

Carl is the best babysitter EVER! Where do I sign up for his services? I'm sure there must be a waiting list.

On a side note, that Rottie is adorable (up until he just about rips some face off).

Great input on the pets topic and seems to be one that a lot of people are thinking about.

I started a new discussion about it here in the Newborns section of our forum so that other dads and moms are more likely to find it. Thanks for the great advice

www.dadlabs.com/forum/Expectant/Newborn-...orns-Any-advice.html

Greetings from another dad downunder. I'm a Canadian ex-pat now living in rural Victoria.

I have to say that I was so overwhelmed by, and underprepared for, the arrival of my daughter that the first couple of months weren't a lot of fun. I had had no experience with children prior to this so despite all the books I read it was a steep learning curve.

Our attempts at bottle feeding my wife's breast milk to the bub were not a success. She could tell the difference between the boob and the bottle and was not impressed by the substitution.

She did like me carrying her in the sling though, and I loved doing it. Yes, as a dad out on his own with a slung babe I did get a lot of attention. Be warned though, when the father is carrying a sleeping or happy baby it will be all smiles and giggles. If the little one starts to cry, as they do, people are going to look at your partner like he's some kind of monster. No one ever said anything, but boy did get some dirty looks.

I know this all sounds pretty negative but it wasn't really that bad. I just wanted to point out that things don't always go to plan and you have to be prepared to roll with whatever happens. If your bub won't take a bottle or doesn't like the sling no worries, there are other ways to interact and a whole lifetime ahead to do it in.

To end on a positive note: my favorite moment of the first months of my daughters life came in a motel room, no slings, not bottles no planned daddy/daughter activity at all. My wife had given me our sleeping daughter to hold while she showered. Em (Emlyn) woke up on my chest looked up at me, smiled, snuggled closer and went back to sleep. I had never felt joy quite like that before. Or, as my wife puts it, it was the moment were Em said: "Dad, meet my little finger. I hope you're comfortable being wrapped around it."

All the best to you and yours.

Wow guys, thanks for all the warm welcomes and great advice. It means a lot for me to make my husband as included as possible in his own way so it's great to hear from the dad's perspective. I suppose for all those who feel their manly domain is being over-estrogenicised, that is the payoff. I think it's important for Mums and Dads to realise that they are always going to do things differently to each other and that's OK. Unfortunately for everyone I think it's mainly the Dads who are the trailblazers in this area. I don't want to end up like my Aunt who hardly lets my Uncle TOUCH the baby because he doesn't do things the way she does.

AbbyLyn, still going like me? Over it like me? Waddling and panting everywhere you go, like me? Lol.

Sorry dads, going on a pregnant rant real quick, since Jinky asked:

I'm so done with being pregnant. One of the cruelest parts of being pregnant has to be the whole "starving and nauseous at the same freakin' time" thing. Also it feels like Jack is trying to head butt his way out. I keep getting sharp pains "down there". I don't think this kiddo is going to be much longer. Which I'm fine with. Waddling, yes. Panting not so much any more since he has dropped. Finally feel like I can take a somewhat normal breath again. I'm also so sick of being a whiny bitch about everything. I hate complaining, but it seems like there is just so much to complain about these days.

I'll be having another ultrasound sometime this week or next. Can't wait to see what the little guy looks like That is if we even make it that long.