Last summer was great. I could load Duncan up in a backpack carrier and go to a ball game. I could put him in a stroller and he'd mostly enjoy the view. This year, with the baby, we've not been able to do anything. It's even kept me from the gardens I tend.

Today's a great example of this. The local Railroad History Society had an open house. They had the huge 765 running and were supposed to be offering train rides every 20 minutes beginning at 10. At least that's what the web site and FB posts said. When we tried to get tickets, we found that they didn't intend to offer rides before noon. So, getting there before 10 so we didn't have to wait was a huge mistake. They did have a caboose set up with a model train running inside. But since he couldn't touch it, he went insane. Typical toddler tantrum except I don;t think I've heard this volume out of any other child. Well, the baby was mounted to my chest in a Bjorn, so picking him up off the ground was a serious challenge. But I did that, climbed down from the caboose and tried to exit the area as quick as I could. 200 yards carrying a toddler in full tantrum, a baby, a video camera rig (partly for elevated shots, Nik) and backpack diaper bag should be part of NFL training. Curses to the old woman who stopped me to tell me and the other dad I convinced to join us that it was so great for us to take our kids out for something like this. I mean, she was pleasant and all. Just forced me to be rude as Duncan got a leg over my shoulder in an effort to execute an escape move demonstrated by some movie kung fu master sometime.

I am probably going to get on Zazzle soon and make a shirt that says "I'm the reason we can't go anywhere." and on the back, I'll put something like "Sorry for ruining your day."

It seems like even when everything goes well and we're doing something just for him, he goes crazy and ruins it for everyone, including the general public. We're already on edge from a number of other things so overreaction is probably more common from us, but even the techniques recommended in anything I've read have failed. How can you distract a kid when there's a 25 foot tall steam engine that's fired up, getting ready to rumble down the tracks and it can't hold his Train Obsessed attention?

I feel so defeated and trapped.

Aw Man, sorry Ben. I really got nothin' for ya. I'm gonna be sure to give TheBoy a HUGE hug tonight for NOT doin' that kind of stuff to us. (Yet.) Not tryin' to rub it in, I know I'm blessed. But I also expect my parenting difficulty level to go immediately through the roof once I'm outnumbered by wee ones.

Having the interaction with other kids starting next week will probably help him tremendously. It will be very hard for him at first I suspect, but I feel that our daycare experience has been astronomically important in his social behavior.

Hang in there!

Well, it didn't end.

At some point this afternoon, Tristan, our 8 month old was making kissing lips at me. Duncan sees this, climbs on my lap and pulls our heads together... GENTLY! so we could have a group kiss. I thought that maybe he had wound down and this was a way to apologize.

Well, my parents swang through town on their way to another leg of a vacation. Duncan threw a whopper of a tantrum at dinner with them. In distracting him, we offered up my iPod Touch, clad in it's impact resistant case. Short minutes later, it had been flung to the ground and when recovered had a shattered screen.

I feel like I've failed. I know I haven't but it sure pains me.

Not the iPad!!!

Augh. A rough, rough patch.

Just repeating what I've heard elsewhere, but I think it's a good idea to stay the course with whatever your disciplinary response has been to this point. I wouldn't panic or switch techniques. Be consistent when he throws the tantrums and know that it may take time to see a change.

My friend Carrie Contey would assure you that this is all about brain development. Sometimes tantrums come at his favorite places because that is what stimulates him the most. The stakes are high for him when he is near the things he loves.

Thanks, Clay.

We had a good weekend, thankfully. Two capable adults with a solid plan and a destination that knows what they're doing really makes a difference.

I can replace the glass of my iPod Touch for about $80. So that could have been a lot worse. I'll have to do the work myself, but it looks pretty easy.

My mother commented after the Friday night spell that she's heard that kids who go through this sort of thing as toddlers have a high occurrence of genius. I think she was just trying to make us feel better.

I worry about school this week. Overstimulation could come into play there, but at least it's not me.

Maybe we should get him a Snazzy Napper.

This image is hidden for guests. Please login or register to see it.
When we're driving somewhere and he wants to sleep, he takes a blanket and covers his head so he looks like Spiderman. It worries his mom because she can't see his face, but I think it's cute and pretty smart.

Both my kids threw tantrums, one more so than the other. And when it happened, it was a big one. And I often dealt with it poorly. I kind of felt like it might be because I did not parent well, or my kid was somehow ill-behaved and would be that way forever.

My only secret was to let go. My new t shirt - tantrums happen.

My two cents on the topic, in general terms -

I am big on removing the child so that others in public can enjoy their time.

Since tantrums are developmental, I realize this is just part of parenting, and now I know that I will have many well planned events completely hijacked by a tantrum. And thats the way it goes. I wish I had know that during the first twenty tantrums that I handled poorly. One thing I try to convey to people who are kidless-but-thinking-about-it is that you give up a lot of your ability to plan and control a situation when you introduce another creature-with-will to the situation.

Other non-breeders, as well as some breeders, will look down upon you and find you to be a bad parent or one who cannot control your kid. Thats their problem. Again, its just developmental, and in my opinion the best thing to do is to be calm with the kid and remove him or her. One cannot work with a tantrum throwing kid. However, once the kid finds some sense of calm (widely interpreted) then show them you still care. Spend some time focusing on them.

Some may argue to never take your kid out. And I think the leads to a kidless culture. Instead, tolerance. If a baby is crying on a plane, sure it is irritating. But that does not mean the baby or the parent have earned your scorn. Instead, sympathy. No parent wants his baby to cry on a plane. Or have a tantrum in public. But they do.

Tantrums happen