I got set-up by my beloved wife on Saturday in the worst way. I don't know if she just wanted to make me miserable, or planned out the perfect "mama love fest" with our toddler, but either way, she "won" the contest of best parent - because it's the score at the end of the day that counts.

Imagine if you will - an early Saturday morning in a suburban home of three people and numerous animals. One of the people, let's call her Abby "the toddler" for the sake of realism, wakes up at 4:30 am (0430 for you military folks out there). I shot up to try to soothe and get some more sleep. No dice. Dutifully, I got up and did TV time and breakfast before mamabear woke up at, let's say for the sake of the story, 6:45 am. Still early? Yes.

The day goes along swimmingly until nap time - which Abby skips completely. She put up a good fight, and ultimately we settled for some Willy Wonka and rest time instead of actual sleep.

Since it looked like mamabear needed a break, I took the girl-child to a local museum for an hour or so in order that mom have a few minutes to herself to chill out. That did the trick! Everyone happy and glad to be back under the same roof, we ordered pizza and watched some playoff football.

While I was trying to steal a few minutes to check in on the devils time vacuum Facebook and upload new pictures to Flickr, mamabear in the clan decided to be "subtle" (her words, not his) and begin to run a bath. She pretty quickly ahemed toward me, to which I jumped into his normal bath routine, but with a goal of having hair washed this time. (We typically do this in the shower on Sundays - but she's been fighting that of late.) After a good long while of Abby playing in the tub, I grabbed some shampoo and began the torturous necessary process of washing a little girls hair - a process that takes less than a minute.

It was at that point that he picked up a cup of water from the tub and realized that the water would have been suitable for drinking with the addition of one ice cube, or two on a summer day! That lady set.me.up.

It turned out I was dealing with a child who, on top of hating the idea of nice-smelling, tangle-free hair, was freezing cold.

Abby screamed her head off and would not let me come near her - not to empty the tub or once I got her out, would not let me dry her off. Then, right on cue, the gallant knight-ess rode in to save the day - even went back for some couch-cuddle time. I even got stiffed on a goodnight kiss!

I understand it was simply an issue that "just happened" but DAMN! I feel like I got set up.

New Rule: If I'm doing bath time, I am doing it start to finish. I'm not dealing with the choices of someone else to run my program.

There can be no doubt: A man must run his own tub. Dude!

I'd blame Facebook....

If mamabear noticed that you had time to be online, you set yourself up.

My rule - Always be busy, or give that appearance, at least.

If you're taking down the Christmas lights, chances are, you won't get the 'Ahem', and if you do, you've got a defense, "Sure, I'll do the bath, do you want to finish up here with the ladder?". You'll find that some areas of housework are still the 'man's domain'*.

I'm getting the hang of multi-tasking. Watching sportsdesk while I feed breakfast, playing guitar while my 1 yo is stacking blocks, and facebooking during naptime.


* - The roof is almost always the man's domain, however, if you have a wife who might call your bluff, be sure to clear out the beer bottles from the gutter before she catches on.