Nerd Time!

Starting with my paternity leave about a year and a half ago, and continuing through naptimes through to the present, I've used the modern marvel of streaming video (which DadLabs members may be somewhat familiar with) to catch up with all of the Star Trek franchises, and the movies.

I've seen many episodes that deal with parenthood, and fatherhood in particular. The holographic doctor makes himself a holographic family, Captain Cisco appears as the first Star Trek Captain with a kid, and even the villains like Kahn and Gul Ducat have fatherhood issues. Data's procreation leads to this amusing exchange:

Picard: I fail to understand how a five-foot android with heuristic learning systems and the strength of ten men can be called a child.
Troi: You've never been a parent.

(Finally, my point:)
In none of those episodes, however, do they illustrate how much easier parenthood would be in a time when everyone carries around phasers set to stun. I mean, people get stunned all the time and no one seems the worse for it. Image how awesome parenthood would be if life were like this:

Child: Daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy look at me look at me…
Dad: Just one second, dad's on the phone with someone important.
Child: But daddy daddy daddy DADDY DADDY DADDY!
Dad: Please just be patient a little bit longer, I'm almost…
Child: DADDY DADDY DADDY WHAAAAAAAA!
- zap! -
Time passes…
Dad: Did you have a nice nap while daddy [insert important thing here]?

Or, maybe:

Teenage Child: Daddy, I want you to meet my new boyfr…
-zap!-

I'm sure in real life they would eventually find out some harmful side effect, but in Star Trek these things seem harmless (so long as you don't accidentally set the phaser to kill, which I'm sure wouldn't be possible on the Sears Craftsman version that you get at Fathers' Day).

I'm really hoping this gets adressed in some future series.

Awesome. You may have to pitch this as a book. "Found Aboard Enterprise: The Federation Guide to Parenting."

Need a co-author?