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TOPIC: Going to college... as a Dad

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JustJustin

Going to college... as a Dad
1 Year, 11 Months ago

I am getting ready to go to college for the first time. I am 27 years old. My wife is due in August. And I'm starting to get cold feet, about college that is.

My job provides tuition reimbursement, which is great. I was planning on going to my local community college before we got pregnant. I am still going to work full time 40 hours a week. So I will only be able to pull a couple of classes per semester.

I would like some advice from any dads out there who are doing the whole college thing.

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ben

Re:Going to college... as a Dad
1 Year, 11 Months ago

I'm having a hard time getting up the momentum to start on my Master's Degree, but that's not the same.

I do suggest that you get as much done before the baby comes as possible. You're going to be a wasted mind for a few weeks, maybe months, as you adjust to having a little screamer in your home. Slow down for that period and then pick back up as you can.

And accolades for making a priority of your education. It's one thing that can't be taken from you, no matter what happens, and it will enrich your life and your family for the rest of your life.

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halldur

Re:Going to college... as a Dad
1 Year, 11 Months ago

I'm in the same boat. Our little one is due in August, and I'll be starting my second year of grad school in September. The current plan is to go full time and work part time. But in the end it all depends on what kind of financial aid package I receive for next year. One of my professors told me that sometimes babies have a good 'prioritizing' effect which can actually help you focus on school. I don't know how this will work in real life, but we'll see. It seemed to have worked for her. Either way, there is going to be a lot on your plate, but it's all for the best. Good luck!

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Daddy Clay

Re:Going to college... as a Dad 1 Year, 11 Months ago
That's taking on a lot. One thing I would warn against: if college comes at the expense of spending time with your new baby, I would rethink. Make sure that you get to be with that baby!

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Daddy Troy

Re:Going to college... as a Dad
1 Year, 11 Months ago

My wife was in grad school when we had kids. We thought it would be a great arrangement -- flexible hours outside of class, work when the kids are asleep. And it was hard. Then she went back to work while finishing her school while having kids.

She would be the first to admit that all things suffered - work, school, parenting, relationship.

If we had it to do over again, we probably would.

To reiterate -- school and kids, hard. School work and kids - super hard.

In fact, my recent thinking is that I really wish someone had told me -- one of the parents must go part time or no time when a baby comes, and if that is dad then great for him. Wishing I had done it.

Good luck man, and you can always go to school when the kid is older, but as they say "it goes by so fast". Just think of where you were five years ago, and then think forward to a time when your kid can talk, ride a bike, throw a ball. Its all just five years away. Be present during that time and you will not regret it.

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teacherdad

Re:Going to college... as a Dad
1 Year, 10 Months ago

I'm a full-time teacher, student council sponsor, and I run a one-night-a-week college prep course at a local community college. I started a Masters Degree program 4 days after my daughter was born. It's a lot, yes, but here's the hitch: I'm taking my classes online. When I'm working on my Masters classes, I'm doing it at home, when I have time (or when my wife has time to cover for me). My dad, a former college professor, doesn't think that I'm getting the full education I should be, but I don't feel like I'm doing considerably less than I did in my first Masters program.

If you really want to roll into a college program, I highly recommend going the online route to do it. It's making my life a lot easier than it should be.

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NatsDad

Re:Going to college... as a Dad
1 Year, 10 Months ago

Alright.....now that this has gotten started. I am gonna throw a bit of a curveball.

I have been slowly but surely...trying to finish my bachelors...and now Tricia (my other half) wants to be able to get ready to go and finish her PhD

Mind you, we also have a 19mo in the mix of things...

My question is...do I finish my degree and let Tricia take a backseat....or....do I take a backseat and let Tricia finish.

In all seriousness I kinda want to be able to get it all out of the way at the same time, but I am not sure whether or not it will be financially doable and whether its gonna kill our relationship?

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sean

Re:Going to college... as a Dad
1 Year, 10 Months ago

Hey NatsDad -

I don't really know you or your wife, but my 30,000 foot observation is that a PhD is very optional, and a Bachelors degree is much less optional.

It only seems fair to allow you to get your Bachelor's first - that's the minimum ticket to entry for so many jobs and opportunities.

Also, in my opinion, a PhD is more of a hobby, something you do for your own personal satisfaction. I would find it very hard to justify giving up family time in exchange for a PhD until my kid was 4 years old or more. Kids take sacrifice. We all know that.

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halldur

Re:Going to college... as a Dad
1 Year, 10 Months ago

Natsdad...

I think it truly depends on what your long term goals are, and what's financially feasible. It really depends on if you're getting your bachelor's to be able to change careers, to further it, or even your own personal satisfaction. Similarly with Tricia. I would look to see whose degree would benefit the family most in the most immediate future, or see which would make the other more financially viable. The potential plus side for PhD programs is that you can get into programs that offer tuition waivers and stipends. If your wife is the primary breadwinner, this could mean a hit to your finances, but that might be offset by your higher potential earnings with new degree. In any case it's a tricky thing to deal with, and at lot of angles to look at. Good luck!

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