I recently moved to TN where I met my fiance. She is from Ohio and we both had separate bank accounts in our home states. Now with a baby on the way and a wedding in a year I figured it would maybe be a good idea to have my money in the same state I am. Now my question is, when should we combine our incomes into one bank account or if ever? I make a lot more than she does so I tend to pay all the bills and such and whatever she makes generally just pays for her car and insurance and then the rest is fun cash for us to go out to eat or movies and such. So my question is, should we combine accounts (she likes to spend money on fast food and other little things) or should we leave them separate???

If separate is working, why futz with it?

We have separate accounts, just because. I have direct deposit, and she didn't when she first moved here, and we weren't married. Our accounts are now at the same bank and all linked together. She has access to all of them for transfers and such (she's the accountant in our house)...

It can be a pain if they are not at the same bank if you ever need to transfer funds from one to the other for any reason, but really, that's all I'd do. Get your accounts set up at the same bank, plus perhaps a "joint savings" (we have that too).

We don't argue about money. We both make it. We both spend it, usually on the same kinda chit. She pays the bills, but I know how. I know what I can and can't spend. So does she.

Money is an easy argument starter (and "excuse to argue" as far as I'm concerned). I am of the opinion it's never the money itself, it's a trust and respect issue.

We take a "triangulated" approach. We each have personal accounts, and then there's a joint account, which we agree to use for certain bills (like Groceries).

We've been happyily married for 7 years. We have only joint accounts (except for retirement accounts, which can't be joint accounts by definition).

All of our money goes into one big pot, we pay the bills out of that pot. Each of us is allowed a fixed "allowance" every week that we can spend on anything, no questions asked. That money comes out in cash from the ATM machine every Friday. We're not accountable to each other for how we spend our allowance.

I can't recall ever having an argument about money. Now granted, I guess my wife and I are lucky enough to be fundamentally financially compatible, but I think the above "system" helps, too.

My wife and I have been together 20 years. We've never shared a checking account. We do have some combined brokerage accounts, but the checking and credit cards have always been separate.

We both work. We split up bills and expenses based on who makes what. A couple of times a year, my wife will write a check to the investment account, which I generally supervise. I report to her on that account a couple of times a year.

We still worry about money (did I mention braces and college tuition around the corner), and sometimes argue, but the system has generally worked well for us over time.

Here's some ideas that popped up on Yahoo today... for preventing money arguments (not necessarily money problems)...

finance.yahoo.com/news/best-ways-prevent...ments-163024950.html

Ditto for everyone above this reply. My husband & I have two bank accounts. One is for home items, such as food, house bills, etc. The other is his company bank account, most of the money goes into that account to pay things like taxes and such. I keep track of the home account and my husband keeps track of the business account. Which we also use for online payment or purchases. We live on just one income (his) which means since I am keeping track of the home finances, when that bank account starts to run low, I give my husband a "heads up" and he adds a little bit more cash into the home account.

We figured this will help us with interest and in the future when we decided to apply for a home loan.

One minor point to consider: if you don't keep separate accounts—even just small secondary accounts—you'll always know what your spouse spent on your presents and vice versa.

Online banks like ING DIrect make it really easy to set up a free account with a low balance requirement that gets linked to your 'main' account, Then you can have your employer split your direct deposit across the two accounts. And you can create as many savings accounts as you want, as well—so you can set up a 'Billy's Christmas present account' and such as needed, then close it when you've hit your goal (sorry, this is drifting off-topic).

I guess my point is that you can open personal accounts for free to put 'a little something' aside for birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines, etc. and still have a joint account for all the big stuff.

We have two accounts, mine and hers. Every two weeks, we both get an allowance. We never question what that's for. All bills are paid from her account. By trade, she is a controler and can manage accounts and bills better than I. Every 2 weeks, I give her all the money I make, except my allowance (which is a very generous ammount) She pays the bills and puts the rest in savings. We have access to eachother's accounts, online and can track spending. A third accound seems redundant, so we opted to not have a pot for the bills. And we are not married yet.

Two accounts: Mine and Wife's.

She's a numbers gal who balances about $500M of our State's money so she knows what she's doing.

I, too, work for the State. I don't have a whole lot coming in, so I dont have a whole lot going out.

All that being said, we both are know how much each other makes and we both know where every dollar HAS to go, ie bills, savings, etc. Open communication is paramount in a relationship to ensure efficiency. Mutual respect, is equally important, when talking about spending. Who's going to pay for what and when.

All my cashola is directly dumped in/vacuumed out of my account so neither of us have to question if/when my 'share' is paid. It's automatic and I look like a star for TCB.

Also, you have to have that conversation about the 'extra mula' to understand who buys what, why and when; beers with the boys, pedicures with the girls (or what ever else you crazy kids buy)

Know each others hobbies, habits, wants etc BEFORE any commitments are made.

Glad to see another man give the finances to the other half. I am aweful at remembering to pay the bills on time.

Also,calomalo, it seems that there are only a few posters on this forum. Why?

It's true, the forums are not as fast paced as we'd like, but please know that your posts are not just read by those involved in the conversations, they are read by thousands of "lurkers."

So many Dads (and Moms) just aren't into forum participation, but we're still glad they come to the Labs for parenting advice, reviews, hints/tips, and entertainment. And we truly appreciate you new members jumping right into so many threads! Thank you!

Yea, I dont know whats up with all you 'looker but dont touchers'.

I just got blocked at work from the forum so my posts will have to be done evening time. And with little dude due any day now (40 weeks today), I dont know how much I'll be on here in the near future but I hope some activity continues.

At least with questions. I have much to offer.