i dont know why but i cant get into a rhythm with my two daughters layla(3) wants to play make believe and Maddie (2) wants to just run and follow layla. I find myself not able to get down and play or let loose enough to play with my kids. Now its nothing to do with my connection with my kids or my love for my kids, im by no means a fighter but i will never let something happen to my kids but i for the life of me cant just let loose and play with them...does anyone have suggestions for me?

Even the simplest things will be very meaningful to them. Try getting down on their level. I found that some of the best times happened when I was really tired and couldn't think of anything to do but lay down on the floor. The kids crawl all over you. Besides, when you are down there, you see things more from their perspective.

Go on a bug hunt with them. Take a jar in the yard and look for doodlebugs. Turn over a few rocks. Collect things if you can. Just observing the little things you find will be interesting to your little ones.

Keep trying! But don't let high expectations get you down. Little kids want you to be present more than anything. Putting in the time is key.

i hear what your saying about the laying on the floor and i have done some stuff like that but, just recently havent been able to destress enough to let go from my everyday worries. how do you guys destress? i try "relaxing" things and i dont feel any different.

Try to focus on THEM. My boy can tell when I'm not really "there" with him, and he'll usually stop playing 'with' me. But when he does that, it snaps my attention right back to him. All I do is really pay attention to what he is saying. My time with him is time WITH him. It's hard somedays, but just do your best to put aside the rest of life while you're sitting with your girls. Maybe start out by timing it. Give yourself 30-60 minutes to dedicate your FULL attention to them. You don't have to come up with things to do, they'll certainly do that for you.

Depending on whether it is part of the distraction, turn off the computer, turn off the phone. Let them dictate what's going on in that time.

Good luck! It'll get easier.

My de-stress techniques are exercise (I like running) and family dinner (with maybe a splash of red wine). Both of those things recharge my batteries.

Man I can really relate to what you are saying!

I am worried about that myself. When my wife and I would hang out with her nephews she would always be the really loud and silly one. I am just not that person, but I try. I think it's just important to try and engage them. Turns out her nephews really Love me, they feel very comfortable and safe around me. Probably because I am just stable and steady. I would rather my kid feel like they are safe and happy with their dad then think I am just as fun as mommy. (doesn't mean I don't get silly, but not like my wife, I just try and smile a lot and keep them talking about whatever they want to talk about)

I know a lot of it has to do with my mood too. I say fake it until you make it. Sometimes the best de-stresser is acting like you aren't stressed. You might just forget you are.

I think getting a little bit of alone time, maybe some exercise in... those are great for my mood. My wife and I in an effort to stay more positive came up with a saying: "Be the Budda" haha. If we start venting about work, or getting on a negative rant, or just have an attitude, the other will say "Be the Budda" it transforms your attitude. It makes me realize that I can't control everything in my life, I can only control my own reaction to it. So I let it go, say something like "Yeah, I guess it is what it is" and move on.

Life has been more stress free since I have focused on being positive. You have to learn how to change your attitude to just leave the negativity at work, and not bring it home to your kids. If you can't help it, maybe you should talk to a counselor to help you let go and be present when you are hanging out with your kids?

I dunno. Good Luck!

hey guys thanks alot for the different tips and things to try. Andy thanks especially to you, as the father i feel its my job to make sure everything is taken care of and planned out and this stresses me so with the you saying control what you can and blow off the rest it helps cuz i think thats where my problems fall is when i try to do everything and get upset when i cant fix everything under the sun for my family with my own two hands so that helped me a lot thank you. tonight has been good mom is gone and me and the girls are just sitting here watching their favorite show ( Imagination movers ) having a good night now im off and back to them thanks again guys

Growing up my dad had a couple of sayings (ok, a lot of sayings) but two really changed my perspective when my boys were born. It started out with regards to issues or projects that, "I've got more time than money" meanign I needed to do it myself. Once my boys were born, and due to employment shifting slightly, it shifted to," My time is worth more than that." This I will outsource projects to people allowing me time to spend with my boys. It is easy to say, but tough to do, but once I released my hold over all those thigns hanging over my head, I was able to slow down and know that now I am a parent first, and all other things second.
I still need to keep telling myself that to keep my priorities straight, Dad first, all else second. That rule makes some decisions a lot easier.

Lonewolf: Kudos for recognizing an issue then not only doing something about it, but being man enough to ask for help. Being a dad to boys is, I'm sure, much different than a dad to girls. Enjoy the ride, even if it means dolls and tea parties!

Couple of simple activities to offer up.

Play doh! Nothing better than mashing up a wad of that doughy goo to de-stress yourself and participate in an activity that the kids would love at that age. Doesn't have to be anything elaborate or involved. Consider the wad of Play-doh a stress ball .

Crayons -- When my now 7 yr old was in preschool we'd spend 20-30 minutes each morning before he went to school and I went to work just doodling whatever we wanted. I ALWAYS went to work with a smile on my face on those days.

Evening Dance Parties -- my kids and I commonly throw their playlist on the iPod when I get home from work each night and just shake a tailfeather for 15 minutes. Great way to blow off work or commute related stress in a constructive way.

Largely -- the kids don't care WHAT you do, as long as you do something.

Some excellent wisdom from @krellpw

We've had our share of dance parties -- most recently, and memorably, on Christmas Eve. The kids made a disco with flashing lights, lava lamps, the works. Boogie was had be all. Great memories.