Hey everyone,

I need a little advice on something, that doesn't seem to fit anywhere else on the forum here.

Here in the area where I live, we have a music festival called Riverbend. You may or may not have heard of it, but anywho...

What I need advice on is...

My wife and I have been given free reign to go to the festival this upcoming Friday. My mother has agreed to watch our son for most of the day, so that we can go and spend some time "just the two of us." While I'm excited to go, I'm also extremely nervous (note the forum handle lol) about leaving him out of our house with someone who is not part of our household. It's not a trust issue, I trust my mother implicitly. I just have an extreme aversion to, well, not being around him. I know that this is a normal thing, to have anxiety and be nervous about such a thing, so what I want to ask is... Is there any sort of way to help alleviate this anxiety?

Any advice or comment on this would be extremely helpful and also extremely appreciated.

Thanks,
David (NervousNewDaddy)

Quite simply, I'd encourage you to go and try your best to relax and enjoy the opportunity.

You should probably be able to set up a plan so that your mom can keep in touch with you, if she needs to reach you, and if you find you really need to check in, I'm sure you can.

Out of curiosity, how old is your son? (I'm guessing infant, but don't really want to presume) Will this be the first time you're going out without him and leaving him in someone else's care?

Remember every day that we're parents, we're working to raise our kids towards their independence and eventually that means separation.

What you're feeling is totally natural, but I'd encourage you to step out with your wife and enjoy the music.

Krell,

Yes, he is an infant, very much so. He will be 3 weeks old this upcoming Saturday. And this will be the first time that she and I both have left him in the care of someone not in the household. We've left him (briefly) in the care of his godfather (who also lives here), and it was no cause for concern, but this is the first time that we'll be out and about and he'll be at a different house with someone other than me, my wife, or his godfather.

I'm going to attempt to do this on Friday, and hope for the best. I only hope that I don't completely freak out.

You're a brave guy. Going out an paying a little attention to yourself and your spouse is a good thing. In my experience the first 4 -6 months is the roughest patch on everyone. Marriage maintenance is a very good thing.

Also, childcare will never be simpler for the caretaker than it is now. It's convenient for your mom to drop the baby off, but we also sometimes asked my mom to babysit at our house, just because all the systems were in place.

One thing that I've set up at my house is a DropCam -- this is a "nanny cam" if you want to use a euphemism, but really it's just a surveillance camera that I can check using my iPhone. I set it up in the living room, and anywhere I am, I can quickly get a glimpse of what's up at home.

It's pricey, but not outrageous, and good for nervousness.

BTW, we took our daughter on a cruise with my parents at this same age. The idea was that we would leave the baby with my folks and go out on adventures. My parents didn't get the memo. At every stop, they were off biking and snorkling, leaving us to enjoy the ship, and our new baby.