They say that God only doles out what he knows you can handle. And that He made me a Dad to only a son seems proof enough - I think He knew I'd just stroke out & die if faced with the challenges of raising a daughter.

For example, the way our society is sexualizing children terrifies me. What were the parents of these girls thinking?

Is Your [Little] Girl Sexy Enough?

I loved this paragraph.

What is wrong with these people? Why on earth would you want little girl looking like a backup dancer in a Beyonce' video? You people are insane. I'd like to hit you in the elbow with something heavy and brass. Right in the funny bone. You'll be like, "Ow! What the fuck was that all about?! Why did you hit me on the elbow?" To confuse you. It will hurt really bad and it's a total mind-fuck. Then I'd wrap your forearms in duct tape and pee on them. I have a whole carnival of weird and annoying pain on tap for you.

Literally laughed my ass off. I couldn't have said it better.

I've seen this video posted all over then net and I can't even get past the title to click play. It just makes my stomach churn. Soooo glad we have a boy!

You guys may think you've got a good deal not having daughters, but I have to say there is something great about having a little girl in your life.

I worry about KGOYS (Kids Getting Older Younger Syndrome) as much as the next guy, and all the quasi-sexualized dating teeny/tweeny shows on Disney drive me nuts, but I'm not all that scared.

We interpret the video as sexual, but what are the girls thinking? To what degree do they think of it as sexual? Hard to know (and, no, I would not be comfortable with my daughter participating in this), but one thing is certain -- they own it. And that is a good thing.

I want my daughter to own it. I want her to own her body and her sexuality. I hope that she has a healthy sex life and a healthy view of her body, and that she delays becoming sexually active as long as possible. Studies show there is one indisputable way to help in this regard: sports.

My daughter currently plays: soccer, volleyball, basketball and tennis. I'd sign her up for a tiddlywinks league is one was open here in Austin.

I'm sure that you're correct, Daddy Clay, that these girls are oblivious to the crudity of the lyrics and the degraded social values that they stand for. I applaud their zeal and talent. They DO own that performance.

But what turns my gut is that the instructors & parents believe that the attire and subtext is in any way close to appropriate for these little girls. When Justin Timberlake & Adam Sandberg did their hilarious sendup of this song on SNL, they wore -twice- as much clothes as these children.

The bigger picture that disturbs me is the way we prep little kids for adulthood. Boys are typically groomed to be college- or pro-bound athletes. Girls are most often groomed to be, well, the eye candy on the arm of said star athletes. Even little children's playthings reflects a high degree of some of this kind of nasty stereotyping - boys get construction-based or weapon-like toys whereas girls get tea sets & makeup kits. Now, I know that this stuff can only take root if parents subscribe to it too, but many parents do buy into this because it's the socially-accpeted default and it isn't easy to buck those marketing trends. I'm staunchly opposed to toy guns for my 4 year old son but my friends & family think I'm some kind of extremist nutbag and still sneak those kinds of toys in as gifts at Christmas or birthday time. (I do allow non-realistic super-soakers and other water guns, but that's only because my wife softened me up on those.)

Anyway, my point is that unless we go out of our way to rebel against defaults, our society - even as enlightened as we like to think we are - still seems to want to setup girls from a very early age as little more than disposable sex objects for horny young guys to use up.

You guys may think you've got a good deal not having daughters, but I have to say there is something great about having a little girl in your life.

Oh, I completely agree Clay. I'm mostly joking. I'm sure my wife and I will have more kids and the odds are the we'll have a daughter. I think it would be cool to have a daughter and teach and encourage her to empower herself. But ,yeah no dancing like that dressed like that. I like the sports idea. Lots and lots of empowering activities.

I have to say that I somewhat and very respectfully disagree with Daddy Clay on one point.

The way to teach our little girls to respect their body is to take an active stance on the issue. Let them know that the revealing clothing and sexed up make-up is NOT OK with you. Show her that what is valuable to her father has absolutely nothing to do with her appearance, but with her character.

In some ways, I think passive acceptance of the current norm is just as bad as encouraging the behavior in the first place. If we don't let our daughters see us take a stand against this over-sexed culture, then we are allowing the media to set the standard. Our daughters will likely feel a vague sense of unease about it, but since it's "just what everyone else is doing" they will probably follow suit.

WE ARE THE DADS! WE set the standard dammit! I for one am not going to lay down and die (not implying anyone here is of course) and let the toxic culture take my daughter's innocence. But I'm not going to rail against the media either, that's a complete waste of energy.

Rather, I am going to work on building up my daughters' self-worth through character-building. I agree, sports are huge here. I am also going to actively discuss with her what she sees on TV. My goal is to show her that her appearance means very little to me. Hard work, self-respect, service to others, kindness; these are the attributes that I want her to focus on.

Any thoughts? I'm clearly a bit unraveled about this topic, so I get a lot from robust discussions. Thanks for listening!