Yesterday, PsychCentral published an article about being a father in America on their website. It got me thinking about how my life has changed as a father from my more carefree days.<br><br>Admittedly my situation is a little different that the average dad. I was single until last year at which time I married a woman with two daughters (11 and 5 now), and we proceeded to become pregnant on our honeymoon (due in less than 2 weeks). So I went from a rather carefree, somewhat reckless and irresponsible lifestyle (didn't really care much for responsibility outside of the job) to now being responsible for 4 other human beings.<br><br>Given that... I had many changes in my lifestyle, too numerous to list here, but the article touches on a couple of the key ones that changed for me, and that's spending time with the ones I love (something I undervalued before), and being a role model for those who look up to me (in this case now my kids). The spending time with the kids specifically, though, has been something that really sinks in with me as I now have two kids that while I have known them for quite some time (the 11 year old I've known since she was 4, and the other since she was born, and would visit and play with them about once a month) I still regret the amount of time I didn't get to spend with them because I was not part of the family at the time.<br><br>So now, spending time with the kids is a huge part of my life now, and it pretty much always comes first. I've given up most of my video game playing, poker nights, smoking(!), excessive drinking (wasn't an alcoholic, but there were nights I'd go out and get drunk... I don't want my kids to see that), most of my tv watching, as well as the simple impulse buying (it used to be one day I'd decide... I need a new TV, stereo, computer, or whatever and I'd have one in my home by the end of the day), and even late nights at the office... I find more creative ways to resolve problems and meet deadlines without requiring excessive hours so I can be home. But while every so often I'll think back and miss some of those things, I'd miss more not spending time with my kids and just have to think about those years I wasn't part of the family as a reminder.<br><br>So what have been some of your most significant changes since becoming a father, or if you're a father-to-be, what changes are you going through right now?

I listened to this incredible NPR podcast on the theme of fatherhood on father's day and among the stories was one writer who told the story of his memory of his father leaving his family when the narrator was three years old. It starts with his own recollection of the exact event and circumstances involved, then progresses without break to a telephone conversation with is mother wherein she recounts her memory of the same event, then moves on to a telephone conversation with his father on the same topic. for the next 20 minutes I was mesmerized by this story woven in three threads of perspective, seamlessly shifting narration by the three family members involved. It was a profound moment of realization in my life as a father.<br><br>The father in the story talks at one point about his reasons for leaving, how he thought that he needed to re-visit the sense of freedom he had as a single man- he then confesses that he was never able to regain that sense of freedom, that it was an illusion he had allowed himself to be seduced by in his desire to 'unburden' himself of responsibility.<br><br>This is my long-winded way of saying being a husband and father, for all its shortcomings, is about as good as a man can do. Or, at least, that I can do. I would be hopelessly lost without my family around me, and the thought of being alone is most distressing. I am definitely a better man, more sympathetic and understanding of others. Also much, much more tired. So very tired...