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TOPIC: Daddy Discrimination: Have you ever been a victim?
 

Daddy Clay
Daddy Discrimination: Have you ever been a victim?
1 Year, 3 Months ago
When you have the kids by yourself, have you ever been asked to leave the playground? Been corrected on your parenting by a stranger? Felt disapproving stares from moms?

A conversation on Twitter with fatherhood author/expert Jeremy Adam Smith on this subject spurred the deep thinker (have you read his book yet?) to circulate a poll, and publish some of the results.

So we open the subject to our community. Have you been discriminated against in the realm of parenting because you are male? Been busted for "parenting while male" as Smith says?
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Sour Kraut
Re:Daddy Discrimination: Have you ever been a victim?
1 Year, 3 Months ago
Do you mean apart from the various mail shots originating from companies like Pampers or ASDA (Walmart in the UK) that are all exclusively addressed to "Dear Mum"?

I think the midwives in the hospital that treated me like an imbecile or made me feel like a foreign object in the room were the worst so far.
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DaddyRoger
Re:Daddy Discrimination: Have you ever been a victim?
1 Year, 3 Months ago
Thats so true our GYN/Midwife would treat me like I was non-existent and ignore me during our visits. The fact that my wife and I have different last names doesn't help. And my wife never read a single book or article because she is the less I know better kind and I had to do all the reading and be involved. I didn't miss a single Dr visit. They didn't even address me as the to be Dad.
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pfanndad
Re:Daddy Discrimination: Have you ever been a victim?
1 Year, 3 Months ago
The Midwife practice my wife chose for our last child ( and the next one ) it a two woman team.
And they are night and day.
One is a man-hating, condescending type.
The other is friendly and welcoming.

These are my perceptions which I have not shared with my wife because I don't want her to feel any tension if we are working with Midwife #1.
She likes them both, so I'll cope.

Fortunately for our last delivery, the second Midwife was on call.
Let's hope I get lucky with the next one.

I must say that our Peds office is very welcoming of the Dads on office visits. Both the doctors and nurses are all happy to see fathers bringing kids to appointments.
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Daddy Clay
Re:Daddy Discrimination: Have you ever been a victim?
1 Year, 3 Months ago
I found all the health pros we dealt with -- docs, midwives, NICU staff, nurses -- were all supportive and cool with dads. One interesting factlet: in the NICU they always refer to the baby by the mom's last name. Because my wife kept her last name, the baby did not have my name on the isolette. That really bugged my parents for some reason.

The only discrimination I felt was out in the real world when I was a SAHD. Lots of helpful "suggestions" -- always from women -- about how I might better care for my kid.

What the authors are suggesting in the articles I mentioned above -- that dads are often treated like pervs -- is something I can't specifically remember experiencing.

The closest I ever came -- waiting or my kids to finish in a public mens room. I always felt like a creep when someone came in and I was just lingering outside a stall. I was always certain to throw out a "how's it going in there" to show that I was waiting for my kid. But that wasn't really discriminatory.
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