Since the tragedy on the Taconic Parkway a few days back, the subject of parents and alcohol has been much discussed. We've covered the topic of beer at kids' birthday parties in the past, but it may be time to revisit the subject.

In your opinion, what is reasonable in terms of consuming alcohol in front of the kids? Okay to sit a brew at social events like birthday parties, backyard barbecues, or block parties? Okay for moms and dads to sip wine during a playdate?

Absolutely not if you're driving. Period. If you're hangin' out for 3 hours and you have a beer when you get there, maybe. But you have to be smart. She was dumb, and so many paid the price for her stupidity.

And don't get drunk in front of your kids. Ever. When they're 21, NO. Not EVER. Want to destroy what lil' respect they may have for you and your aged wisdom? That'll do it right quick. They'll discover soon enough that you're making it up as you go along and had/have no idea what you're doing as an adult/parent, don't get plastered and make it obvious.

I say that it's perfectly fine to drink a beer in front of the kids, in appropriate situations. At a block party? Fine. At church? Not so fine. There is nothing wrong with a kid observing the responsible consumption of alcohol.

But... I also say that it is never appropriate to drink any quantity of alcohol when you are responsible for the safety of the kids you're with. That may sound odd, since some would say we're always responsible for our kids' safety, but let's be realistic. If you're going to be driving, no booze. If you're at a block party with the cu-de-sac roped off and two dozen other adults around and you're all watching the kids... a beer or two over a period of hours isn't going to endanger the kids.

I agree with the statement that we should never get drunk in front of our kids - EVER.

I am biased, I will admit. I've grown up around bad examples of alcohol use/abuse and now even the idea of responsible consumption of alcohol in front of children urks me. I do not care/mind someone drinking while kids are not present.

This is a conversation I have frequently with my fiancee, because he enjoys beer every once in a while; he grew up around his father drinking nightly. I've already gone over the fact that I do not want alcohol around our future children.

In the end I could care less about the substance and I realize that its a decision between couples/parents. I hope my post doesn't offend or anger anyone, it is merely an opinion and is not directed toward anyone in a negative manner.

I also agree: never get drunk/hammered in front of your children, it will affect them negatively and you will never regain the respect (or what little) they had for you prior.

@ Christina_Hansen

You opinion is certainly welcome and valued. Please feel free to post honestly and you won't anger anyone around here!

It makes perfect sense that parents that have had a bad experience in their own past with alcohol would want to keep that away from the kids. More power to you. Thanks for adding to the conversation.

I have the misfortune of travelling along the Taconic parkway at least once a week. Passing the point where the vehicle finally came to rest (grass still charred) is always a tense and emotional moment for me. When you see where it all happened, how she drove south in the fast lane for nearly two miles into the flow of traffic, its a horribly painful image that goes through my mind each time i pass there as i cant help but imagine what was going on inside that vehicle.

It seems as though the whole truth will never be fully revealed and the husband is now looking to have forensic tests retested and, if necessary, the body of his wife exhumed.

It was an unbelievably traumatic tragedy for young families and people in general in the New York area as the Taconic is one of the main roads connecting New York City with the state capital Albany, and as such, is travelled by many.

In New York State, new drivers are by law not allowed to drink any alcohol and drive for their first year of driving. Maybe it should be compulsory for all ages and levels of driving experience.

Meanwhile, my thoughts are with the people that died that day, especially the children whose lives were so horribly cut short. God bless them.

Background - I great up with an alcoholic, abusive step-father. I have fortunately been able to block out most of my past, but I know it is there.

On that note - I agree that it's never a good idea to get drunk in front of children, yours or others. Having a beer or two at a communal gathering I think is completely within reason.

I read a brilliant article that a Facebook friend passed along about children and drinking. It comes from a different perspective (how to keep your teen from drinking) but I think it's important for children to see that people CAN drink and be responsible at the same time.

www.psychologytoday.com/blog/radical-tea...drink-wine-feel-good

My two cents.

Wow tricky subject.

For me, I agree with the general sentiment that it's ok for kids to see alcohol consumed responsibly.

For our family that's defined as, if one parent is drinking at a social gathering, then it's absolutely understood and stated that the other will not drink at all and they take their turn as designated driver.

I also agree with the concept that kids should not see their parents out of control drunk.

I know this is a really old thread but being from Australia I had never heard of the Taconic Parkway tragedy. I had to look it up...wow. That gives me chills as a parent to be and as a paramedic. In situations like that my heart always goes out to the the emergency services personnel attending because I know from experience how it scars you to see these things.

Regarding the drinking, my husband and I both grew up seeing really bad examples set with drinking and sometimes drugs so it really puts you off. My husband does not drink...at all. Not even champagne at our wedding.

I do enjoy the occasional drink, like a red wine with dinner or a Baileys on a girls night in but I've never been drunk enough to have a hangover, vomit or pass out. I probably drink on say 10 or less occasions per year. In saying that I don't see why there can't be responsible drinking in front of your children, as long as there is a sober person still in charge, and never driving after.

In fact as an older teen my mother would let me drink at home on special occasions (at home only, never at parties) so that I could learn what it was like to drink while in the safety of her watchful eye. This was probably an easy decision for her since I was never really one to do it anyway. Some people might say that's really irresponsible but in Australia the legal drinking age is 18 so to let your 17 year old have a beer or champagne at home with you on new years or a glass of wine on special occasions, I don't see the big deal. It also means that your kids can get a taste for their limits and what really happens when they drink in the safety of their own home, rather than at friends parties (and we all remember what happened at them - and it's only getting worse). Because I don't think parental abstinence or forbidding your children to drink will stop them.

Food for thought.

I almost never saw anyone drinking growing up. My father started drinking beer again after over twenty years when I was around fourteen. I was allowed a small drink on special occasions from about sixteen on. A Guinness on St. Patties (or more like a sip, I hated the stuff as a teen, love it now), champagne on New Years, Egg Nog for Christmas, wine for Thanksgiving. We're an Irish family and after my brother and I grew older, drinking became part of celebrating special days. I went through a short time of getting drunk somewhat often, but that was really only for a few months and I had just turned 21. Now I wont lie, I do look forward to going out and having drinks with my friends after the baby is born, but by no means will I ever be drunk around him. Only when grandmom is willing to watch him overnight will I plan on going out and I really don't see myself wanting to be away from him anyway. I also will never put myself in a position where my life would be in danger (i.e. ridding in a car with someone who has been drinking behind the wheel) now that there is someone who depends on me the way Jack will. Tim and I have talked about this and we agreed there has to be a sober parent at all times, even if if someone is keeping Jack overnight for us.

Edit:This kinda turned into a ramble, lol. Thats what I get for being up at 4:30 in the morning. Sorry

I think that kids need to see responsible behavior in order to know how to act themselves. In this case they will have an entire childhood of observations to base their actions in adulthood on.

So what's responsible behavior? It could vary from parent to parent. I grew up in a teetotaling Baptist household. For my parents responsible behavior was complete abstinence. Like zero, none, nada. Not even for communion. Our church used grape juice instead of wine. With that as my background I'm not a teetotaler by any means. I wouldn't bring a sixer to a kids b-day party or anything but if it's being served I'd drink a couple. A designated driver is a must though. Whenever where ever, especially when kids are involved.