So here's my Sunday.

I'm working (ok checking FB) Sunday afternoon. My wife is helping our 8yo son clean his room. I hear them coming down the hall and my wife tells the boy, "Go outside and stay there until your father and I come get you to talk to you about this." Warning bells are going off already.

She comes to me and shows me a matchbook and one partially struck match! "Look what I found stashed under his board games in the bottom of his closet."

My immediate reaction was and I said aloud, "he lied to me last night. He looked me square in the eye and lied to me!" I had gone to check on the boy Saturday night and smelled the partially ignited match in his room and said so.

At the time he told me, "No. That's impossible. I don't smell it." By the time the exchange had occurred with his ceiling fan on the smell was gone and I couldn't imagine any reason he'd be striking matches in there. So at the time I let it go.

My wife and I settled on 2 weeks of grounding. No screen time, no play dates with schoolmates, no interaction with his neighborhood friends. We held a few additional privileges (sweets and Saturday dance class) in reserve as 'add ons,' in case he attempted to bluff or bluster his way out of his situation.

When we went out to confront him he was in tears on the back deck and came running to confess about how long he'd had them, why he wanted them and the lies the night before.

In the end, we had a long heartfelt talk about fire safety, lies and what his punishment was. Certainly hope he learned his lesson. It wasn't until we went to bed Sunday night that my wife and I allowed ourselves to imagine what could have been, if he'd successfully struck that match then extinguished and stashed it hidden and smouldering on his carpeted floor on Saturday night. Suffice it to say it was a restless slumber last night.

Yikes! Thanks for sharing. Sounds like he knows what's up. And addressing the issues separately (fire/lies) is definitely a good thing.

Perhaps after the grounding you can do some age appropriate fire science with him. To hopefully satisfy his curiosity, safely... Not that everything has to be a "teachable moment," but you understand, right?
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Those "what if" thoughts can really weigh on ya. I try hard to keep them outta my head. I try to develop a "plan" when they first pop into my head as to "what to do if..." and then get 'em outta there.

Yesterday, I'm outside painting, TheBoy(4yo) is at the upstairs window... HisMother opens it (screen is in place) so he can talk to me... He was so excited about telling me a story that he kept pushing and hitting the screen... the "what ifs" raging in my head made it difficult for me to listen to a word he was saying... And I knew I wouldn't have been able to get there to catch him if he fell. So I got up and got closer.

We finally got him calm enough to explain not to lean on it or bang on it...

The part that makes me even MORE nervous... that lil' bugger pays attention... he later came back to the window, without HisMother, and unlocked it himself... He hadn't quite figured out opening it, and she came to help... but yea, what if... UGH!

Nik -- Yeah, I know what you mean about doing some fire safety experiments, but I'm not so sure it would be constructive. In fact, I'm wondering if that's what brought us to this point in the first place. I'm of a mind that past experiments may have built up an inappropriate sense of confidence for him and a false sense of security for his mother and I.

Our home has a fireplace. We own a grill. Once or twice a summer we'll do backyard campfires. We've always let him participate and "help" in a safe supervised manner. I can't help but wonder if all of that "experience" made him feel he was more capable than he truly is.

At the same time, his mother and I have been believing, "he wouldn't possibly fool around with fire unsupervised, because he knows how dangerous it is. Lesson learned for all of us.

As for those what ifs - yeah, they'll get us going in circles in a hurry. Glad to hear your little one didn't have any serious accidents with that window!

Last night there was a fire (albeit small and contained) in the dorm next to our house. My son was awakened, but my wife and I slept right through the whole thing. Fire trucks and ambulances and fire alarms. I knew I was a heavy sleeper, but sheesh.

I'm also replacing all the smoke alarm batteries today. Yikes.

Anyway, sounds like you guys got a good result there. Did you decide to stick with the 2 weeks? Wondering how that worked for you. Seems like a pretty long term grounding.

@Daddy Clay

Dang. That is some heavy sleeping. We too replaced all the batteries in the smoke detectors as well as inventoried and relocated all ignition sources (matches, grill lighters).

As for the length of the grounding this all just went down two days ago, so I suppose there's a possibility he might make parole. At this stage though, our intent is that he'll serve close to the full two weeks.

I say, "close to" because his cousins are coming down from DC the the last weekend of his grounding to visit and celebrate Grandpa's 70th birthday. Assuming he stays on the straight and narrow up to that point, we'll let him participate in everything associated with that.