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TOPIC: Where to put the baby ?

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DaddyRoger

Where to put the baby ? 1 Year, 5 Months ago
We are expecting a baby and I'm working on a Nursery. Is it a good idea in the long run to keep the baby in a separate room? I see some people have cribs in their own bedroom. What are the pro's and con's ? I even see some people have their kids in their bed when they are little grown up.

Last Edit: 2010/09/09 18:15 By DaddyRoger.

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FSP

Re:Where to put the babby ?
1 Year, 5 Months ago

I live in the Netherlands. We just gave birth on Monday morning 4:51 and we were home by 10 am.
In the Netherlands we have a nurse that come to our house for the first 8 days for between 4 to 6 hours each day for breast feeding, bathing, etc. They say the child should sleep on his back in a bassinet in the parents room for the first 3+ months. reason you can hear when he wants to be feed by his suckling sounds rather than crying which is better.

Yes I made a whole baby room and currently only use it to change the nappy (lots of nappies in the first 3 days.).

Hope this helps

a very tired new dad

John

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concretin_nik

Re:Where to put the babby ?
1 Year, 5 Months ago

In the beginning, you'll def. want them in the same room for feeding/changing/monitoring as mentioned.

Our son (2.75 years old now) is sleeping in our bedroom, however, in his own bed. He had been sleeping in our bed, "co sleeping" if you will, simply and unapologetically for OUR convenience. When he'd wake up or cry, we could comfort him quickly and easily and everyone could get back to sleep faster, which meant everyone got MORE sleep...

But the past 6 months have been a bit brutal, in that he fidgets ALOT in his sleep, and HisMother and I take a beating most nights. He generally sleeps through the night, but he's runnin' marathons in his sleep. So after a particularly painful night with a slap on the face, scratches and kick to my nuggets, he has now been 'bannished' to his own bed.

We are still letting him fall asleep in our bed, but he is moved to his when we finally go to bed. This is still a major transition phase for us, and he wakes up and wants to climb in our bed, but I'm trying to be diligent about walking him back to his and getting him to sleep with as little coaxing from us as possible. Some nights are once or twice, some are horrible battles (last night, ugh)...

In our small house, I really don't mind the family bedROOM... and if he slept STILL, I probably wouldn't care if he stayed in our bed... but getting kicked in the jimmy is a horrendous way to wake up.

Not sure if this helps you really, at least not for the next year or so... but you'll figure out what works (and doesn't) for YOUR family...

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DaddyRoger

Re:Where to put the babby ? 1 Year, 5 Months ago
I have wheels in my crib that I have to set up. Maybe we will do some wheeling and dealing between our bedroom in the early stage and then the Baby's bedroom. I have two other bedroom that I don't use. I know its easier said than done but I'm trying to keep the intimacy between me and my wife.

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ben

Re:Where to put the babby ?
1 Year, 5 Months ago

We preferred to get the babies out of our room as soon as possible. I sleep pretty deeply but my wife would wake up with every little fidget that our little guys would make. Even with a baby monitor, she'd spend all night listening for breathes. So for our sanity, the boys moved as soon as possible. Our first didn't spend a single night in our room. his brother stayed in a bassinet in our room until he was able to move out of the crib.

I think that if you set the expectation that the kid will always get instant response from you at any time, you're going to have trouble dealing with the feelings as you move them into their own room and several other points along the way.

Now, I think Nik's got TheBoy(tm) in his room because of space issues more than anything. But I hear my wife start ranting on almost a weekly basis about how certain baby dominant parent-child relationships are simply the result of parents trying to take the easy route on either a physical (don't want to get up at night) or emotional (can't stand to hear a baby cry) level. I'm nowhere near as vindictive, but I certainly see her point. At some point, they'll have to leave your room, be they 3 months or 25 years. I think it's an easier process earlier on, whether or not you find the crying irritating or heart wrenching. I think it's better for them in the long run and it's better for your relationship.

Plus, you put all that work into the nursery. You want to use it!

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concretin_nik

Re:Where to put the baby ?
1 Year, 5 Months ago

Ben, then your wife has ranted about us a few times.

HA! I don't mind, because I don't have a problem admitting the reasons we "co-slept."

And yes, we don't have an extra room that could be just his... but also, lack of "intimacy" has not been an issue for us... DaddyRoger, you'll find plenty of ways to keep on bein' intimate, don't worry!

Be flexible and creative with times and places... that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Last night was a good night. TheBoy got up twice. I walked with him back to his bed, and got him to climb up and lay right back down with a few whines, but I didn't coddle him or scold him or really even comfort him... "Come on buddy, back to your bed." And I was QUITE surprised that's all it took. But was def. stoked!

AND bonus, I got a smile, wave, and a peaceful drop off at daycare today! Woo hoo! Has been a good Friday.

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