Hey Guys,

So a friend suggested that we get a Doula. She was a single mother, so she didn't really have anyone to help her through besides the Doula.

My fear is that the Doula will come between me and my wife's pregancy... I will feel like I'm not as much a part of it as I want to be.

Does anyone have any experience with a Doula to help sooth my fears?

We didn't hire one but I wish we had. My wife had some complications and it would have been nice to have an extra advocate there for us who was knowledgeable.

Huge fan of doulas. We had a midwife for the delivery of our daughter and would have used one for every birth had the hospital allowed it (long story). I wish we would have had one for our third.

I know several and they are great. Ask around. Get a rec. Meet with her. You can tell if it's going to be somebody you don't want in the room with you.

It kinda takes the pressure off of you to orchestrate the birth plan and allows you to focus on mom. You could argue that the doula actually brings you closer to your partner.

We probably could have used one with our first. After that experience, I think we had everything handled. Both times, our nurses really acted in our interest. With our first, our doctor was on bed rest with her own pregnancy and the nurses knew how to talk to the doctors filling in and even manipulate how they deal with patients to do what we wanted. I don't think this is out of the ordinary.

I don't think the professionals, be they doula or midwife or nurse, will get in the way of your experience with your wife and, eventually your family. Who will get in the way are your extended family if they feel like they NEED to be involved in every bit of the process. If you have a doula, s/he (I assume there are men that do it too) can play linebacker. As for the doctor... They're in there for about 15 minutes, no matter how long you are. Maybe more, I guess. it sure doesn't fee like much. They ride in with bright lights and pristine garments. They don't take the time to get in the way. Not that that's a bad thing. You're paying them by the hour.

I think I really needed to hear that. So thanks so much for sharing!

We are actually planning on having the baby with Midwifes... in one of those midwife... thingys....

Ok I forgot what it's called. Birthing Center?? (we researched a lot, and we're not really into the way hospitals do things, it's too cold and scientific, but at least the place we chose has a way to rush us to a hospital if need be)

So even if we have a midwife, would a doula still be beneficial?

From what you guys are saying, it sounds like it.

Daddy Clay, I really like the idea of it bringing me closer to my partner.