Are you hoping to spend some time at home when the baby comes? What arrangements are you making for a paternity leave, if any? We're interested to hear what your employer's policy is, and if you think it's adequate. Was this any consideration when you took your job? Veteran dads, we want to hear your stories. Did taking family leave help you? Was it meaningful? What advice would you give to expecting first time dads on this subject?

I am hoping my company does the prudent thing and offers a paternity leave package based on the Swedish model with 45 days off immediately and then 8 months off month 9 to 17. That sounds about right, guess I'll see you boys sometime late 2010. Skpe me if you need me.

My company allows 1 week of paternity leave. I started it as soon as my wife went into labor (just over a week ago) and today is my first day back at work.<br><br>Do I think it's adequate? Well in terms of it allowing me to watch my older son and care for him while my wife was in the hospital then yes I suppose so. She just came home Thursday and luckily my in laws are in town to help. Although seeing as we also have a child who is just over 1 year old it's very difficult. I don't know how we would be able to do it without their help.<br><br>Once my inlaws and my mother leave I'll be taking an additional week of vacation to help as well. After that's over my wife will be on her own with hardly any help during the day. Honestly I'm worried how she'll do then.<br><br>As far a preparation goes I plan on saving as many vacation days as possible and not planning any real vacations for this year. Whatever time I have will be used as needed for various things that I'll need time off for. Like doctor's visits, when my kids get sick ect. Not to mention that for the first year I won't want to do any major traveling anyway.<br><br>I think most fathers would enjoy being able to take more time off although I think it's not realistic seeing as my wife is the primary care giver. I do believe that another week would be fair though.

It just doesn't seem like enough. One more week would at least get you some breathing room. And what about couples that don't have in-laws. That would be really rough.

When my daughter, Grace, was born in 2003 she was 11 weeks premature. All plans we had for daycare and what not were thrown out the window. I was a teacher in the Chicago public school system at the time and Grace was supposed to be born at the beginning of my summer vacation. My wife was in medical school and would have the summer vacation as well. Things were supposed to work out perfectly. They didn't. Grace was born in April. Chicago PS does not have paternity leave. (A crime in my opinion.) So I had to take the emergency family leave. Here they hold my job for a year but don't pay me. My wife could not leave school without being drastically set behind (She would had to start the whole year over if she missed more than a month) My daughter needed full time care at home due to complications. We had no family in the area. So I stayed at home and we lived on loans and food stamps. In the end it was the best thing that ever happened (so to speak). I love being a stay at home dad and have been ever since 2003.<br><br>There should be federal mandate for paternity leave. If society wants Dads to step up and be more involved then why shouldn't we be treated with the same rights as moms. The only paternity leave options we as fathers have are within our jobs and those options are few and far between. If I were making the laws I would allow either parent to stay at home with the kids and then that parent would get the federally mandated leave.I agree with DaddyBrad; the Swedes have it right when it comes to maternity/paternity leave.

My oldest was a preemie as well. Really does scramble all of your plans.<br><br>Glad you guys stuck it out.

I agree 100%. There should definitely be a federal mandate. Or SOMETHING that promotes the Father's role. My company has no Paternity leave, so I'm just trying to time it right with vacation days and personal day's to get the most out of my time off. I'm determined to be there no matter what they say.

Hey, im gonna be a father for the first time soon and im just wondering when is the best time to take paternity leave?<br>Is it best as soon as the baby is born or leave it a week or two ive been told to leave it awile but im not convince!?

I am of the opinion to take a week when the rugrat arrives. It's a big adjustment for Momma and you. Better not to leave her alone during that. It can be overwhelming. Then, take more time later if at all possible.<br><br>My experience: I was given 3 weeks. I took a week off when my son was born, and we were in the hospital 4 of the 5 days. Her mother stayed with us the next week, and I went back to work. 7 weeks later, she went back to work, and I took my time off (was given 2 weeks, but I stretched it to 4 weeks of half time). This gave her lots of bonding time, on her own, and then also gave me the same thing. It was absolutely amazing.<br><br>Congrats and good luck!!

I work in the school so paternity leave is a very small amount because we get summers off. I got 2 days to use in the first 5 days after my daughter was born. Luckily she was born on the student's last day of school. There were two teacher work days after that and so I got to skip those two days.<br><br>I don't necessarily think that it is enough, but I know with the summer off they don't want to give us anymore. I know if she was giving birth during the middle of the school year I would have wanted at least a week. Actually I would have wanted a lot more, but a week is better than two days and we wouldn't be able to afford to take off that many days without pay.<br><br>I think though the days right afterward was great. I enjoyed that time to get to spend with my wife and daughter. It was definitely nicer than leaving her with my wife, who would have to try and do everything. It was also great to get to spend those first moments with her instead of having to hear about it later.

My employer gives three days for a death, or one for a birth. I was freaking furious over that, and still am to be honest. (Though the odds of another child being born to a member of this staff in the next decade is nil.)<br><br>I took my one day, and took about a week of sick days, then came back to the office to prepare for one of our quarterly meetings, then took a few more days of sick leave. In all I was home for the most part of three weeks. I don't know how we would have survived without my Mother In Law who was there for the first three weeks, but could honestly have done without the follow up week with my Father in Law. (weird scheduling conflicts followed by a family death made things really weird) I felt like I was babysitting him while trying to keep my wife and newborn daughter from going crazy.<br><br>I had worked a plan out with my supervisor that I would do half days on Friday's at home and would count the second half as sick or vacation for the rest of the summer. (Daughter born in June) Two days later they switched my supervisor to a very traditional minded, mother stays home father works attitude. Ugh.

I will be taking a month of paternity leave this summer. I took 3 weeks off when my son was born as a combination of vacation and sick leave. We get 2 days paid and 3 unpaid when a baby is born. 5 days when immediate family dies and 3 if extended family, but you can get 5 days if travel is involved.<br><br>Here in Canada, the first 15 weeks are for Maternity Leave and then the next 35 are parental leave, meaning either parent can take it. The Canadian Employment Insurance benefits pay you while on leave. This may sound good but it is topped at a max of $447 every two weeks to max of 50 weeks. More Info.<br><br>We are lucky as the company we work for does a top up as well of 95% for the first 2 weeks and then 70% for the next 15 weeks of maternity leave and then 10 weeks of parental leave.<br><br>Because we can live on my salary and the benefits, my wife gets to stay home for the whole first year. But I will taking a month paternity which means her last month at home will be unpaid.

Hey guys,<br><br>After getting laid off from my regular day job as a heavy equipment operator I took over the remaining parental leave that my wife had left as she went back to work.<br><br>I have been off since February and will stay off until the leave is up at the end of May.<br><br>It's been going really well so far being a stay-at-home dad! I get to see my 9 month old daughter grow on a daily basis.<br><br>I have also been enjoying this because I have been planning to quit my job this summer anyway and follow my passion in the health and fitness field full time.<br><br>Being home gives me the time to work on my online business, creating workouts for busy dads, www.DadFitness.com<br><br>It's sort of been a little test run before taking the leap and being a Career Renegade,<br>(great book by the way!)

I am definitely taking paternity leave, but I'm splitting up my time away from work. When the little guy arrives in a few weeks I'm going to take off about a week. My MIL will be here to help my wife so I just really want to be around for those first few days. My real leave will be in November when my wife heads back to work. I'll be out approximately 6 weeks. My employer is awesome for allowing dads to do this. I file for FMLA and use the mountain of sick time I've accrued to spend some serious bonding time with my boy. I'm very excited to have this opportunity.

WOW I guess I am extremely lucky. I have local govt. job. Their policy allows me to take 12 weeks FLMA and use accrued leave time. Since I've been there for 10 years I have more than enough sick leave to get paid for the whole time.

During the 'Financial collapse of Fall '08' I was laid off while my wife was 7 months pregnant.

Best thing that could have happened to me. I was able to claim parental leave for a year, and we needed 2 sets of hands around the house for the first few months anyway.

My wife has her own business so doesn't qualify for parental leave. She's been saving up to take the first 4-6 months off when we have baby #2, then I will claim a full year of parental leave. We'll overlap and both stay home for a month or so.

I'm looking forward to this more than anything else...

...although there was this one time I had playoff tickets.

I'll take off a few weeks or so - I have 50+ days of sick leave built up, and about 3 weeks of vacation. I live real close to work and being a network administrator, most of my duties can be performed remotely.

In the Netherlands things are a little different.

For the Mother
1) The mother get 4 months paid maternity leave 1 month before the due date 3 months after.
2) Min 1 month paid vacation a year plus since we are on a 36/38 hour work week but tend to work 40 the extra time goes strait for extra vacation days.
3) Normally when the mother goes back to work she works a 4 day work week taking either monday or friday off.

For the Dad

On the dads side it is up to the company how much extra time off but normal rule is 2-3 weeks above any holiday time. Most dads take the 2-3 weeks off plus take off Friday and work a 4 day work week until the wife goes back to work and then take a month off. The reason for this is day care you basically need to register 1 year before you get a place. So you need to first register the moment you know your expecting and plan for that time after mom goes back to work and before you get a spot.

This does give a lot of father bonding time away from mom which I think is good.

I came across this sad article on one of the Wall Street Journal blogs recently. There is definite cultural gender bias when it comes to taking time off to be with the baby.

take paternity leave now, because you cannot take it with you

I would love to take paternity leave, but obviously there are a lot of factors to consider. I'm currently trying to figure out if I'll be taking the next spring semester off from school. It really depends on if I have a fellowship next year or not. If I do, I'll have to go to classes, but I won't be working. If I don't get one, under normal circumstances, I would be working, at least part-time, and have a full load of classes, meaning little to no baby-time. The general idea is that Liza would use her time-off/vacation/disability/work-at-home during the fall semester and I would take the spring semester off to hang out with the baby. Of course, taking a semester off means prolonging grad school even further. We'll see I guess.