Many couples will conceal pregnancy during the 1st trimester, largely as a precautionary step since miscarriage is most likely in this period. Not telling cuts off painful conversations in the wake of a miscarriage. Did you go with a blackout period? Were you able to pull off lying to your friends and family? What was your technique? Did you get outed? What got you busted? Tell us all about not telling.<br><br>Note: make a video of your response, post it to the community, and you could end up in a DadLabs video on this subject!

I don't talk very much with my family so it wasn't too difficult. My partner had a very hard time keeping a lid on things though. She told a few select people who ended up saying too much in front of friends or other family members. At ten weeks or so I sent out a big email just to let people know so there wouldn't be any further hurt feelings. Around that time we had the first ultrasound, so there was a picture to go along with the news.

We did wait the 3 months, but our family lives so far way they didn't see us anyway. We told a few people just to get the pressure off of me (I hate secrets). I found I made comments that could lead someone to think we were pregnant when on the phone but no one caught on. I guess if we lived closer it would have been harder. When we did tell everyone we did the same as Scott and sent am email with an update for our new house with the ultrasound picture as an attachement. Some of our friends didn't even open the picture and only read the house update. I also posted it to Facebook for all the people I never really talk too.

I found that my buddies were easy to handle, they never really asked about that kind of thing. The toughies are couples that already have kids (misery loves company) and mom. Those were the toughest to keep it from.

Not only did we conceal the pregnancy, we concealed the fact that we were even trying to have a kid. This made it really fun to tell everyone that my wife was preggo-nobody was expecting it at all!<br><br>We waited probably about 9 or 10 weeks into the pregnancy before telling our families. We would have waited until the first trimester was over, except my sister started to consider changing her wedding date to one that would have caused my wife and I to miss her wedding (I'm her only sibling). So, that kind of forced our hand in telling people. We didn't want her to make a deposit on anything and then lose it.

I thought lying about it was Standard Operating Procedure (SOP) for this kind of thing...??<br><br>Yeah, we concealed it for a while. Then when we were finally ready to announce to our family, we got all excited about revealing the big secret, and envisioned high fives all around. Much to our chagrin, the family just reacted like, oh, OK, yeah we thought you would probably be trying soon....<br><br>My analogy: It's a lot like a very obviously gay guy who decides to come out of the closet. The gay guy thinks it is a big, exciting secret. But everyone around him is like, oh yeah, we already knew that....

When we finally told, my family (from Texas) did a kind of hillbilly jig and whooped it up; her family (from Mass.) calmly asserted that the child would change my tax picture. Both sides deny this story, btw.

Our daughter was due in late January. My accountant expressed severe disappointment when I told him it was unlikely we would be able to push up the due date in order to gain the tax break for 2006.<br><br>Interesting that everybody always comments on the tax break. Wouldn't it make more sense for them to comment on the roughly $500k a prospective parent is going to need for tuition?

The Clay Aiken Technique. (not that there's anything wrong with that)

With the first one we kept the black out period for almost the entire 1 st trimester, with the second it was about 2 months and with number 3 our oldest announced to his Kindergarten class 3 weeks after we found out.

We certainly concealed it. As close friends who had been trying for some time, fell upon that painful situation, so we didn't want to experiene any add'l heartache like they had if that were to happen.<br><br>It was no secret we were not not trying for the previous year (which really just means we stopped buying condoms). I was very careful and never let on that I knew already, but I did talk to my friends more and more about kids (at least I felt like I was). And we'd chit chatted about going to get tested since it hadn't happened yet, and adoption, etc. etc. So it was all a surprise to them. 'Bout time was a common statement.<br><br>No one ever gave us flack for not telling. Everyone understands. And we never got busted. I still feel bad sometimes around the friends who had the miscarriage, as they have still not been successful. But the smile on the boy's face seems to still light them up as well.<br><br>Told the inlaws by taking fabric swatches to them and telling her mom we needed a baby quilt... A what? OH! Wasn't quite the enthusiasm I had hoped for, but he is grandchild #15(or so), so they were just waiting. (She's the youngest of 6.)<br><br>Told my parents in a birthday card to my Dad. Dad, that's MY name now. Yours is Grandpa. Took him a sec, but he got it. That was my favorite.<br><br>The big surprise to us was the reactions to his name. Indiana. We actually got shocked and OMG looks and statements! You're joking. NO?! I can't believe you're going to name him that! We were (are) pretty happy with it, so those reactions were a bit disappointing, but people have come around. He looks like an Indy for sure.<br><br>We named the dog Indiana. I loved that dog.

Oh yeah, same here. The comments about the name we chose were un-freakin'-believable. Especially from our parents.<br><br>Creating a beautiful and intelligent child in the context of a healthy marriage is not enough in the eyes of the grandparents, apparently. You also have to choose the right name, dammit!!

I'm sure we'll call him Dammit a few times too. HA! (Apologies to Bill Cosby.)

Oh my gosh! I was a BIG user of the We're NOT NOT trying phrase before we got pregnant. People would ask... yeah, we're not not trying. LOVE that phrase.

Well, we cannot keep a secret, so the day we had confirmed our pregnancy with the doctor, we were on the phone with EVERYONE. We found out at about 5 weeks. My wife figured.... she was all for everyone knowing so that way we could have prayers and support throughout, regardless of what was (is) to come. To be honest, we are putting full disclosure out there, and when we find out the sex in about two weeks, we are going to blab that as well.<br><br>However, the one secret we WILL be keeping: the name. We want that to be our little secret, and that way when our little bundle of joy meets the world, that's when everyone will meet (fill in the name). I am basking in having this one secret to ourselves.

Keeping the name secret is a good idea. Sometimes getting early feedback on that is a bad idea (see above comments).

I think the secret to keeping names secret is to have a slate of names. Our girl name was Desdemona Nasferata. I think Wilbur and Orville made it into the boy names.

We felt the same way - figured that the sooner our close family and friends new, the more thoughts, prayers and support there would be.<br>That and it would be pretty obvious that something was up when we were'nt hitting the bar scene like we were accustomed too..funny how things change so fast!

Funny thing. We're at a point where we might soon be locking down the publicity grid once again. So, no video, just in case. This time is a planned venture, just not planned for right now. I hope I'll post a blog about it next week. Gotta fix my computer first and get off of her's.

Hmmmmmm.

We get to be truthful for a few more months.

refusing to have a drink is an easy way to get outed... My wife and I devised an excellent scheme: She orders a drink, I don't, citing a hangover/ headache/ whatever. I have a similar looking drink (7 up, straight cola, whatever) and my wife offers me a taste of hers. That's when we switch glasses.<br><br>nobody is the wiser...

Crap! I wish I had read this 12 hours earlier. We just shot a segment on this -- great tip.

That's a lot of effort! Had to laugh with couple friends of ours though - using decoy mickie's of vokda (aka water) at get-togethers and virgin rum and cokes that the husband would mix (nice and strong like always). Very sneaky, don't think I could ever pull that off.

Brilliant!