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TOPIC: Dads in Delivery
 

ben
Dads in Delivery
2 Years, 2 Months ago
This was surprising to see in the news. I wonder if there's anyone who agrees with this guy.

Should dads be in the delivery room?
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Daddy Clay
Re:Dads in Delivery
2 Years, 2 Months ago
Interesting article and well balanced. I remember enjoying reading Tina Cassidy's book "Birth" because she addressed this issue from a historical perspective. In short -- mobile/fragmented families leads to the need for increased male presence at delivery. Now it's become an expectation. Should dad's presence in the delivery room be compulsory? I don't think so, if he's going to become a distraction or a stressor, but I can't imagine opting out of this amazing experience.
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concretin_nik
Re:Dads in Delivery
2 Years, 2 Months ago
I'm not a doc or an expert in any manner, but I don't believe Dads presence has had ANYTHING to do with c-sections. That seems like a medical thing. I agree that it's a safety/health and safety/cover-our-asses kind of thing with the med industry.

Of course there are situations where the sperm donor (dirtbag father) shouldn't be in the room, or whatever... but I believe that any half-healthy relationship will be strengthened by the experience. I couldn't imagine not being there with my kid the moment he entered the world. Greatest thing I've ever experienced.

As for the gore, that's easily avoided - as I saw nothin' but a bit o' blood, and a screamin' funky purple munchkin... most beautiful thing ever.

I also know that the med-staff in the room has alot to do with ones labor experience. If they don't have a good bedside manner, then that will indeed stress out the Mom AND the Dad... I wouldn't want to work for our anesthesiologist, as he seemed a bit of a whip-cracker, but man, he was FANTASTIC with me and her. He alone made everything ok and calmed us both down quite a bit. (The doc wasn't that great at it and totally stressed us out - with no real warning of an impending c-section.)
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Daddy Clay
Re:Dads in Delivery
2 Years, 2 Months ago
I think dads in the delivery room are really well served by the presence of a midwife or a doula. This allows dad to relax back in to being a supporter, comforter and advocate for mom, and an active and enthusiastic greeter for the baby, instead of somehow being "in charge" of the birth or responsible for some specific set of tasks in the delivery room.

Dad still gets to be a key player, but isn't expected as much to have some kind of specific expertise.

We had one baby delivered by emergency C-section, one delivered by a midwife, and one delivered by an OB/GYN with a midwife present to serve as a doula. I thought the midwife delivery was by far the best, but our hospital changed rules before the birth of our third, no longer allowing midwives to deliver babies.
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Daddy Brad
Re:Dads in Delivery
2 Years, 2 Months ago
Dr. Odent's point speaks to the need for the Dad to be well informed as to what is and what will occur during the labor and delivery process, thus easing his anxiety and hindrance to the progress.
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concretin_nik
Re:Dads in Delivery
2 Years, 2 Months ago
That's true. You can't just go in there not knowing what to expect, and the possibilities of things you could see... Our guy explained all I needed to know, where to be, where NOT to be. He didn't explain this that and the other, only what was relevant to me and her. The Dads who are freakin' out in the delivery room are def. the ones who should have never been there in the first place.
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ben
Re:Dads in Delivery
2 Years, 2 Months ago
The guys who aren't prepared haven't seen this incredible video or it's prequel or read the companion book.

I'd think that we Dads can be more troublesome later on like right now when my wife is trying to stop our son from crawling under a crib in the church nursery with his "girlfriend" 6 months older than him. They are already practicing kissing. At just 2. I say, Go for it. As long as there's no expectation of long term commitment and all the clothes stay on, we're good, right?

I'll be there when the time comes, but I've got nothing else going on.

Has anyone done research on the negative effects of grandparents in the delivery room? At this point, that would be more practical.
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AbbyLyn
Re:Dads in Delivery
2 Years ago
This is something Tim and I have been discussing. I absolutely want him there with me. At first he wasn't too keen on it, citing that he doesn't want to see "that part" of me while any of that was going on (he had just watched Knocked Up right before we talked about it). But after reassuring him that I felt the same way and made sure he knew that I was fine with him staying by my head the whole time he started to really get excited about being there when his son was born. I still haven't sold him on the idea of cutting the cord, but I'm not going to push him if he just doesn't feel right doing it. I'm sure this will all change after Jack is born and if we have another. I think it's more a fear of the unknown than really being squeamish. He has a lot of the "first time dad phobias" going on. And I don't blame him. Shit if I was a guy, I would probably be feeling the same way.

I really wish I could have a midwife deliver my baby, but unfortunately because of an arthritic disease I have and a medication I have to take, I am considered a high risk pregnancy now and have to see an OB.

But to me there shouldn't be a question if dads should be allowed in the delivery room. They should always have that option as a father. As long as it posed no heath risk to the mother. And personally I believe the rise of C-sections is more because of doctors than patients. Either trying to make sure their asses are covered or just being too impatient or having too many patients.
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