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TOPIC: Anxiety?
 

stefinitely
Anxiety?
2 Years ago
Just wondering if any of you had to deal with anxiety when you were waiting for your first baby. My wife is currently at 25 weeks and my anxiety levels have been slowly creeping up over the past few weeks, and they've been really bad this week. I just get very anxious; worrying that we won't be prepared, or that we'll screw up, or thinking about all the sleepless nights and financial worries ahead of us! Honestly I know deep down we are going to be fine and AMAZING parents, but it doesn't stop me freaking out right now. I think it's also the waiting that is killing me - I just want him to be here already and for the wait to be over! Doesn't help that my wife is super-nervous because she has had a miscarriage in the past. Every day she doesn't feel him moving around much, she starts to panic, and it rubs off on me.

Anyhow, did any of you experience anything like that? Any suggestions of how to cope?

Thanks!
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bobjr79
Re:Anxiety?
2 Years ago
Every day she doesn't feel him moving around much, she starts to panic, and it rubs off on me.

I totally understand man. I even rented a fetal doppler monitor. It was nice to be able to reassure her with that. We used BellyBeats.com and were pretty happy with it. Her OB used to tell her to eat something and drink a full glass of water then retry the kick count thing. That always worked for my wife anyway.

Hang in there.
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Cook
Re:Anxiety?
2 Years ago
My usual response to anxiety is to read. I try to educate myself as much as possible within the subject. You're starting in a great place with this site, but in addition to this site, the book "Happiest Baby on the Block" really helped me to understand what a baby needs and how to help meet their needs.
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Daddy Clay
Re:Anxiety?
2 Years ago
We were very anxious with our first. My wife worried about everything in the book. So much that there were times that I was tempted to take "What to Expect" and set it on fire.

Our anxiety spiked when she went into premature labor. Our first child was born at 31 weeks. Now he's a healthy happy 11 year old. Looking back, I now realize that we were so lucky and in such good hands that much of that worry was completely wasted.

By the time our third child came around, we barely even thought about it.

How to manage anxiety in the immediate term is tough. This experience is so big and so different, the stakes are high, some degree of anxiety is normal and unavoidable.

Sounds silly, but a walk can really help. Visualizing holding the baby and rocking can also be calming. Don't forget to breathe. And get lots of sleep.
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Daddy Brad
Re:Anxiety?
2 Years ago
Our third had some complications during the second and third trimester and we were very anxious throughout. I found that keeping my cool really helped mom keep hers, so even though I was worried I stayed positive and in the end everything turned out just fine.
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DaddyRoger
Re:Anxiety?
2 Years ago
I don't let my wife touch the "What To Expect" book. If she reads that book she would think she is not pregnant. They talk a lot about bad symptoms, complications and not all women have them.

Someone said "Pregnancy is not a disease" it just a natural process. So I just keep my wife calm and tell her its ok.
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BenGee
Re:Anxiety?
2 Years ago
Wow... it all came back to me when I read this post. Yes, I was crazy anxious too, after the first 4 or 5 months. The waiting was insane.

The two things I worried about most were the lack of sleep and the financial troubles. Both did come, and both did suck. But you will be amazed at how you will be able to dig down deep and come up with solutions.

Try to keep this in mind... aside from the rare complications, your wife will be FINE, your baby will be FINE, and you will be FINE. Yes, you'll be tired, and yes there are financial implications. But difficult times really bring out the best in us, and you will be a much stronger man after going through the experience.

Oh yeah, and it WILL be fun too. Just wait until your baby reaches out and touches your face and smiles... what a feeling!
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stefinitely
Re:Anxiety?
2 Years ago
Thanks for the reassurances guys, I appreciate it. Feels good to know I'm not the only one! I guess I just have to keep reminding myself that everything's going to be fine, and worrying about things needlessly never helps anyway!
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