Okay. So she's feeding 50/50 good start and boob juice and on her own decides that boob juice needs to be out of the equation. Thereby 100 percent good start is now in the kid sending her digestive system into meltdown for the last week. So what I have in front of me is the following. One female who refuses to breast feed. One cranky as hell female infant. Six hundred bucks in used-for-three-weeks breast feeding equipment and 100 bucks in unopened formula. As of yesterday, she called the pediatrician who is also my personal physician. I trust his judgement and he says to try enfamil with lipil. Okay, seriously, the breast milk lasted 3 weeks, now good start lasted 1 week, and now I have 700 bucks worth of unusable. I'm pulling whatever remains of my hair out as I type. It's called, she's calling all the shots with the food and since I work third, I don't have a say. About 6 minutes ago, we had the milestone of our first projectile vomit right into dads ear. How fun. SO. Moral of the story is follows, since she stopped the boob juice, the enzymes needed to break down certain sugars and proteins are gone. Hence the digestive system not knowing what the hell to do. She refuses to pump anymore and now wants to play the formula shuffle game. Oh, joy the joy the joy the joy the joy. How do I convince her that boob juice is the way to go, even if it is a partial?

Don't even go there. Breast milk is considered the best for the child, but sometimes it's the worst for the family. Believe me. If Dad is the only one to want it used, it's a horrible state. You're putting unnecessary stress on the woman who is trying her best to provide for her baby. The rejection of her breast milk has already punched her in the gut, whether she tells you or not. If the equipment you bought is your main concern, clean it up, find a baby consignment shop and sell it. That gets it out of your hair and you get some money back. Then return your unused formula. We didn't start buying in large quantities until we experienced a few different brands and styles. We went from the most expensive, Similac and Infamil, to the cheaper, Walmart and Sam's Club generics, and found that he liked the cheaper stuff more. Lucky for us, I guess.<br><br>It is possible that your child has a problem with the milk-based formulas. If the other formulas are rejected, then ask your doctor if you should try the soy-based ones.<br><br>You're only three weeks into it. There's enough stress on everyone. Don't add to it if you can help it.

Breast feeding for us was difficult. He'd take the milk directly from her, but he'd still need a bottle (formula) supplement. He just didn't get enough. And pumping was a joke. She'd pump for 20 or 30 minutes and hardly get any. So she eventually just gave it up at about 5 or 6 weeks. It was just way more trouble than it was worth, really. Again, we've been VERY blessed with an easy going boy. He's had no nipple confusion from day one and he transferred to 100% formula with no major issues (some tummy probs for about a week, but he grew out of them)...<br><br>Sell the boob machine and check on Craigslist. That will give you a going price for that stuff, and you may advertise for a trade of other formula... ya never know.<br><br>Hang in there man. Momma is definitely gonna call the shots with boob juice, sorry, they're her boobs. The kiddo will adjust, but sorry for the vomit in the ear, no doubt that sucked big time. She will eventually get bigger, and I'm told will start cleaning up after herself, and doin' chores... but then again, she's also gonna bring home boys... EEK!

Well, I guess it's not so much the lack of boob juice that i'm concerned with, but the decision making process in regards to the health and welfare of the child is now solely in the hands of someone with PPD. Me being objective and on the other side of the fence could probably make the situation more volatile, yet not without justification. I can honestly see the point of switching, but technique and introduction are apparently key since she tossed it into my left ear. I'm almost at my wots end with this whole thing, since in the last condensed 45 days, she's lost her job, we got married, had a child, I went on and off of strike with little to no benefit. It feels like drinking a whole pint of habanero sauce and waiting for the aftershocks, let alone the trip to the johnner the next day. I guess I was just under the impression that a father's role, in order to make a comeback from where it's been, needs to take a more involved role. I absolutely hate the stereotype of ok dad, now that your job is done, make sure and send 27 percent off your check and leave the feelings at the door, by the way you can see them one weekend a month, supervised of course, and last but not least, say a word back and you get locked up. Maybe it's not what I expected, maybe it's something different. I'm at a loss. Right now, she's out with the kid, left no note, no call on the cell etc. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Doo it all again the next day. I guess i'm at the mercy of my pediatrician, regardless of what I or anyone else thinks. Crappy. I hope it all comes out in the wash.<br><br>Bri-

That is a pretty rough amount of life altering issues to deal with at one time... I can only imagine. Good luck sir. I hope that it gets better for you SOON!

Here's the deal from a mom who breastfed through 7+ months of torture. I read all the same literature & had all the same crap shoved down my gullet that I'm sure you have about how wonderful breast feeding is for everyone. Granted, there was a reason I did it to start with. Now, looking back on the fact that my son practically never latched on without a battle & then decided to reject me in month 3 & started going 75% of the time off the bottled breastmilk, I realize that I should have given it up much earlier to save my sense of well being.<br><br>I really feel I missed out on the majority of that 1st year because I was SOOO unhappy feeling like a darn cow being milked every few hours by a machine versus what all the images of my beautiful baby calmly nursing that I had in store in my sleep-deprived brain. Don't get me wrong, I did have many good moments, but unfortunately, more time was spent crying by me than enjoying him. And, I had to pump at work, which meant I lost 1/2 a day of productivity for the 4 months I did it. Thank God my boss was a woman with children who understood. I cannot even fathom what you guys must be feeling with all of these changes in your life all at once. The pressure & exhaustion must be unreal. Please understand that she has gotten the most crucial stuff which is the first few days. And honestly, even our peditrician said that the formulas today are really healthy & the babies are doing just fine on them. You have plenty of geniuses who were raised on formula! <br><br>1 last note: my son spit up terribly during the transition from breastmilk to Similac Advance for the 1st 2 weeks. Then, his system adjusted. The doctor said that you have to determine if they're gaining enough weight. If yes, then stick with the formula you want to use, if not, try whatever they reccomend. My friends have found a lot of success with the generic formulas. I will use them with the next child & I highly doubt I will bf nearly as long as I did the 1st time. Life is short. The time should be spent enjoying it, not putting more pressure on mom who is probably exhausted. Let it go. Good luck to you all.

Hey Sutts--<br><br>Man, rough go. Having a new baby in the house is tough enough without all that background noise. One upside of bottle feeding -- you can do it, too. My oldest was a preemie and was too weak to breast feed in the early going, so I gave him bottles. It was an amazing bonding. My younger two breast fed for 16 mos and went right to a cup. So I never fed them, and I definitely felt that loss. I tried to make it up in other ways, but that feeding moment is special. So there's that. Some silver lining. Hang in there, bro.

Uncle Sutts:<br><br>I found that the first few months can be a little rough on the male ego. I was a very involved and enthusiastic Dad just like you. But I ran into an unexpected and serious battle of wills going on between my wife and I for the first few months of our daughter's life. Even though both of us would probably be considered progressive (whatever that means), modern parents, I felt like I was being left out of major decisions, also. In fact, I can still see the cracks in the plaster wall next to the door that I slammed after a particularly memorable battle of the wills during this time.<br><br>It's tough. My only suggestion is to wait it out. Things definitely changed in our family after a few months, and I don't feel like I am left out of the major decisions anymore.<br><br>(For the record, I don't think the change was caused by the slamming doors...I think it just took time for my wife to see me as an equal partner in protecting and caring for our child).

Oh yeah....one more thing...<br><br>The rockiest parts of my relationship with my wife were: (1) immediately after we got married AND (2) immediately after we had our daughter. So you've got both of those periods, like, right on top of each other. It's no wonder there is strain and pressure!!<br><br>My wife and I just celebrated our 3rd anniversary last week. We laughed about how miserable we were during the first few months of our marriage. We're looking forward to spending the next 50+ years together.<br><br>Sit tight, wait it out. Know in the back of your mind that things may be a little rough right now, but it will probably change.

Ditto to everything Sean said! My hubby & I were so sleep deprived after our son was born that even his breathing would set me off on a tirade. Trust me, a woman with sore boobs, no sleep, & a new sense of lost self is not a happy person. It took me months to really get over the smackdown mother nature gave me. Now, I just sit back & enjoy the (sometimes turbulant, but always exciting) ride!<br><br>Honestly, it will get better. It's what everyone tells you now, but you have trouble seeing knee-deep in the thick of it.

I just loved it when right around 2 months people, often random strangers, would stop me to tell me how great it must be to have a little guy. I developed a stock response, In War, they call it Stockholm Syndrome. It'll feel like you've been held hostage for while and then it gets better. You don't have control over it and nothing can really even influence it. But you can affect your own reaction. Breathe.

Well... after reading all of these horror stories... I think I'm gonna go home and cook dinner for my wife, I'd stop and get flowers even if I wasn't on my bicycle. I am truly blessed. (To be fair, this is my second marriage, and I was quite prepared to NOT have the same problems I had with the starter wife.) Peace to all of you... for reals!

I think all the advice you've gotten so far is right on target Sutts, you have a TON going on all at once and that's enough to put even the most solid relationship in knots (and not the good kind!).<br><br>I will say as someone who breastfed twins, it CAN be done. BUT at some point you have to ask if it's really worth it, because breastfeeding is seriously one of the hardest and most emotional things I've ever done.<br><br>If she's at ALL still interested in giving it a go then you should certainly contact a Lactation Nurse or (LC as they're often called). If there isn't one at the hospital you delivered at then you can contact LaLeche League and they can put you in touch with someone. My LC was seriously a life saver, and the main reason why we made it through the first 3 months. I had that woman on speed dial, and she was worth every penny that we spent on her.<br><br>Also, PPD is very real. Encourage her to talk to her Dr. about meds. There's no shame, only relief.<br><br>I will agree with everyone here though, ultimately the decision to continue with breastfeeding is hers alone. Just be there for her and make it clear to her that you will support her whichever decision she makes. Absolutely do NOT make her feel guilty for making the switch to formula. It's hard enough to come to that decision without having someone beside you pushing you in a way that seems impossible.