So for anyone who's seen the thread I started about a dog bite incident while on a play date (www.dadlabs.com/forum/Lounge/Pets-and-Ki...e-Fall-out.html#6882) one of my big frustrations in that incident was that I felt I failed as a dad to ensure the environment was safe for my boy. I've now taken to using birthday parties at classmates' homes as reconnaissance missions.

The boy's been invited to two parties in the last month and in both cases, I volunteered to take him. My logic being, I can monitor the home, the parents and the environment in a non-threatening and fairly discreet way.

It gives me a chance to gauge the other parents' style. How do they manage the party? The crowd? The chaos? How do they handle the inevitable bouts of jealousy and tantrums that erupt at 1st grade parties because something didn't go someone's way? How involved are they in the party? Do they just let the kids run amok? Is there some structure? Are there other hazards? Pools? Pets? What's the neighborhood like?

I find myself thinking all these things through as my son is attending these parties now and I'm reporting back to my wife at the end of the day. "Yup, great party, yummy cake and if the boy ever gets invited back for a play date, I'd have no reservation leaving him there under the other parents' care for an afternoon." Or, "Well the party was nice, but we'd need to talk things over if the boy gets invited back there again."

Is anyone else out there doing this? I expect others are doing it in our home as they attend parties at our home. Just curious.

Any chance to see potential host parents in action tells you a lot, I agree. Although as someone about to throw yet another birthday bash, I'm not sure it's ever my finest hour as a parent. But maybe that's what you want in terms of getting a bead on somebody.