so any suggestions on how to manage a baby and a deployment at the same time? or a pregnant wife and deployment?

I think the biggest thing for your wife is to have as much of a support system as possible. If your wife has a mom/sister/best friend who can move in with her or move to the same town, that would be huge. Or if your wife can move to where she has a support system either way. She gonna need a go to girl. If you're deployed during the birth, I know I lot of girls' moms will come live with them to coach them through the first few weeks.

As far as you go, If your FOB has the internet bandwidth capacity to accommodate video teleconferencing via Skype. This will allow you to interact with your wife and baby on your down time. If Skype is banned (happens), I'd get a cheap video camera and send video messages back to the baby. Cheezy, yes? But, you want your kid to have heard your voice and seen your face as much as possible.

I know this thread is fairly old now, but as someone who has went through this exact thing 3 teams (once with pregnant wife, twice with kids), I wanted to throw in my two cents in case others still have questions.

It is incredibly important for the wife to have a strong support system around her. I'm fortunate that my wife is incredibly strong and independent, but even then it was incredibly stressful. She stayed in Virginia where we lived through the first and second deployments. While she had friends in the area, there was no family and she spent most nights by herself in our house. This was incredibly stressful for her and it kept me awake at nights. During the 3rd deployement, she moved back to Kansas City with her parents and the situation was much better.

As far as interacting with your kids, I bought a very inexpensive voice recorder and took it with me. I would just make recordings of myself talking and then mail them home. There are also programs where you can have yourself video taped while reading a story. Both the tape and book are then sent home. As a ship guy, Skype was never an option, but it may be for the guys on the ground.

One thing that people don't anticipate is how much stress is involved when you get home. I've seen a couple marriages nearly end because of this. By necessity, your wife will have to develop a fairly strict schedule in order to take care of the kids by herself. You will have to do the same thing while deployed. When you get home, those routines don't match, and you really start stepping on each other's toes. It takes awhile to get used to each other again. After reading the bedtime stories every single night for the last 6 months, it's hard for the mother to step aside. It is an incredibly happy time, but it can also be very stressful. As long as you anticipate that and understand that it's not necessarily a sing that your marriage is failing, everything will be fine.

Very Respectfully,
Military Dad
militarydadblog.com