I have a question with regards to child custody. I am a working father, so my soon to be ex-wife could stay home with our children. We are now in the middle of a nasty divorce. We currently live only 4 miles apart, our children attend our local school, have their therapist and family here. She is not willing to work, and refuses to let them attend any type of daycare - which we have several accredited facilities in the area. She now wants to move over 200 miles away, out of selfishness just to be closer to her parents, but is not taking into consideration the well being of the children. I have always been a good dad, provided and am divorcing her, NOT the children. We have 50/50 custody now - which is working well. Her move is specifically out of anger, with no consideration for what this significant change would do to the kids. And how being away from their father will affect them. What are my chances of a court allowing her to move with the kids? I have my own home, the kids have their own rooms, they attend school and I participate in their lives daily. Her move is just for selfish reasons. Will a judge take my custody away? I provide monetary support 100% but she still feels it is not enough money, she wants more and refuses to work outside the home even though our children are in school. I don’t know how much more I can provide or do to prove I am a good dad and I’m worried she will be allowed to just pick up and move with our kids. I don’t want to see them once a month. I’m not a bad person (neither is she for that matter) she’s just acting out of anger. Any advise please?

You need a good lawyer with experience in FAMILY law. Seriously. Do not pass go, find one. Now. Not a divorce lawyer, because that's a COMPLETELY different thing.

From my experience (seeing others go through divorces with children) and having been a child of a custody battle(s) myself... there is soooo much that can go wrong or be misrepresented, or even flat out lied about in court. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Finances, appointments, after school functions, who takes who when and where... all of it. Do not bad mouth her in front of the kids. That will come back and bite you in court, and even worse, with your children. And do not let them bad mouth her in front of you. If ever you're not sure about a situation, remember, "Love's the only rule." It's up to YOU to set that example. They need to know this divorce is not about THEM and is not their fault.

I personally would think her unwillingness to get a job and you still supporting her and the kids 100% should work in your favor. (And that's just crazy in my opinion.) But it really all depends on the judge. If you get an old fashioned one, who believes Moms hold all the cards when it comes to child rearing, you could be in trouble. But you could also get one that doesn't tolerate lazy moochers and you could be golden. Laws vary from state-to-state.

Good luck. Please let us know how it goes. (As I told someone else, we don't need details and dirty laundry spread out on the internet, just try to give other lurking parents an idea of your experience. Maybe what you learned about the process, good, bad, etc.) I truly feel for you. Divorce is never easy. From the story you've presented, this is likely to get much worse before it gets better.

Nik's advice here is spot on, in my opinion. Get the opinion of a family attorney. Start keeping a daily diary of any and all time with or working on behalf of your kids. Make it a habit. Pick a time every day to make an entry. This will be valuable to you on a legal and a personal level. Even if it's never used in court, it can help you make your case in personal disputes, and also serves as a reminder to do the tough work of parenting as a daily part of your life.

Good luck and do check back in when you have a chance.