Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

Where Am I Going

By Daddy Danny Wednesday, May 21st, 2014

I don’t write blogs, as I don’t like to share my thoughts or feelings with the world, as I do not feel that the world gives a shit.

There are others in this world living harder lives, struggling with issues far worse than I could ever imagine. On the positive side, there are others using their time and talents to do something greater for the world than I’m doing.

(By the way, this isn’t going to be some never-ending pointless rant — I just have to write out my thoughts first and this how I do it — this is why I don’t blog.)

Another reason I don’t write blogs, is that I’m too damn busy…oh, I really have time to do it, but let me explain…

I’m married with two small children (2 year old) and (2 month old). I own my own business which is video production and editing, which keeps me busy. The best part is that I work from home so I’m always around. Which is great. I’m not complaining about this part of my life. I love it. I support my wife and my children from the comfort of home, which is great and it’s something I work hard to maintain as I’m freelancer. I have to find work when I don’t have it.

We did live in our own place, until my father-in-law was diagnosed with glioblastoma. Basically, it’s one of the shittiest kind of brain cancers you can get. Look it up.

He should be dead, but amazingly, he received amazing treatment at UCLA and they actually removed all of it. Isn’t that nuts!? Medical science is the bomb. The only unfortunate thing is that the left side of his body is being rehabilitated, so it’s a tough recovery, but…it’s a recovery.

So, we moved in with my wife’s parents to take care of my them. I make breakfast, lunch and dinner. We do a lot of the chores, clean the house, help my father-in-law around… just make sure life keeps moving forward.  I pay for a lot of the food, but I don’t have a house payment or rent, internet fees, or a power bill. I’ve been paying off all my debts (which has been going great..almost done)…SO…I’m not complaining about this part of my life either. It’s like the old days where families lived together. My sons get to see their grandparents, and only once in a while is there an occasional blowout fight…so not too bad.

Now, with being a freelancer, taking care of my wife, my two kids, parents-in-laws, two dogs and a big house, life keeps me pretty busy. By the time I finally sit down to do what I really want to do, I don’t know how to do it…and I think that’s point of this blog.

I CAN do something, with that little bit of precious time, I just don’t do it. I’m so angry at myself every time I have about an hour or two of free time…and I spend it looking up shit on the IMDB, reading BBC news or browsing Facebook on my phone. I read some news column about a tragedy in Sudan or some amazing thing NASA is doing. I’m saddened about a tragedy I read, then excited about an invention I watched a video about…then that’s it. The hour’s over and I have accomplished nothing in my own life. I’ve learned nothing.

In my free time, I COULD do something amazing and create an inspiring video for DadLabs, (and after making over probably 2000 videos for the web I can shoot and edit video really fast) but I find myself with nothing to say that hasn’t already been said about parenting or is being said about parenting. What’s one more goddamn post about being a dad?

In my free time, I COULD work on the 2nd or 3rd drafts of my screenplays (yeah, I actually do finish 1st drafts), but even if I do finish my scripts, the Hollywood connections that I have will leave me with nothing. And even if I do decided to make another movie…(yeah, I actually made a movie)…what’s the point of making another movie? There is already around 50,000 movies made a year so who gives a shit if I’m 50,001.

In my free time, I COULD read a newly released book..but every time I start reading a newly released book, it’s just a retelling of something I’ve read before or a new spin on an old tale, or god forbid it’s already been made into a movie I’ve already seen.

In my free time, I COULD learn a new language, but I’m not traveling anywhere to use that language, AND by time I learn a new language, they’ll just invent some tiny earpiece so everything is translated for you. (That’s my belief anyway)

In my free time, I COULD do SOMETHING. But I don’t DO anything to advance myself. Yes, I’m a good father and husband. I’m a good son-in-law. I’m a good son–I call my parents and grandmother. I’m pretty descent with making commercials and videos for the web. I’m in pretty descent shape.

But overall, what the hell am I doing? Where am I going? Where are any of us going? I feel like I’ve peaked with everything in my life. I’m talking about about my individual self. Am I just going to be waking up everyday, doing the same things?

Making local commercials for a company on the East Coast forever?

Making money, then using all the money to pay off bills or eat or take small vacations?

I’m not a mover or a shaker…I’m just a do’er. I just do stuff to get by.

I go online and read about accomplishments or tragedies, and then I go back to my life…not doing anything of significance or importance.

Perhaps that’s what everyone feels like. Maybe I’m not alone.

I really don’t have anything to complain about, so I should probably just shut up. There are other people in the world dealing with worse things than myself, but I can’t help feeling like I should be doing something more with my time.

I’m almost 35….Maybe my generation will be also be called “The Lost Generation”…as in our voices were lost, because so many voices and stories are being overwhelming shared. So many thoughts, stories, pictures and lives are shared, but only a few REALLY matter.

This blog post doesn’t really matter.

I’m a white male, living an average life in America. I’m nothing special.

I didn’t invent something amazing on Kickstarter.

I didn’t do a documentary to change people’s views.

I didn’t volunteer in my community or run for an office to make a real change.

I’ve made a ton of videos for the web, but none of them are viral. (Like that really matters, but it is my business…so it would be somewhat nice)

I sit around and I watch the world spin. I have ideas to help or shape the world, but I don’t do anything but talk about it to my wife, then nothing happens.

I’m so grateful for what I have. A happy family, but I’m worried about how to maintain that for the next 50-60 years. I can’t keep doing the same thing, but I have no idea how to break out of it.

Am I worth anything anymore to this planet? To our species?

Where Am I Going?

Raising Cheaters

By Daddy Clay Thursday, November 1st, 2012

Recently I’ve heard lots of parents expressing concerns about the prevalence of cheating in our society. These moms and dads point to elite sports and even the most prestigious institutions of higher learning and worry that cheating has become the norm.

Well, duh. What a bunch of suckers.

Parents that live in the real world are so over honesty. We know that our kids are unlikely to get ahead if they are encumbered with notions of fair play, mindless rule following, and namby pamby truth telling.

For those of you still admiring worn out role models like George Washington, Abraham Lincoln or Greg LeMond, I have a couple of pointers for raising effective cheaters. Read the rest of this entry »

Sibling Rivalry: Solved!

By Daddy Clay Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

I have to give my kids credit for doing a reasonable job of coexisting in our household. We still have three kids, which is exactly the number we birthed, so I’d say they’re doing pretty well. They certainly do better than I did with my younger sister — which devolved into a War of the Roses-style running conflagration.

There are skirmishes in our house, for sure. We have some bickering, arguing, cage fighting, and hostage taking. We get the occasional tiffs and squabbles, maulings, maimings, rampages, and body slams. Every so often the sofa cushions get disordered or the whole house reduced to glowing, smoking ruins. But overall they do pretty well.

I’m so proud of how rarely my children perform jiujitsu on each other, I’m going to offer a few tips on reducing sibling rivalry. If you’d like your kids to only periodically pound each other into jelly, read on! Read the rest of this entry »

Guardians of Virtue

By Daddy Clay Monday, June 4th, 2012

The glowering dad and the awkward suitor, it’s the fatherhood cliché that has spawned a thousand commercials and movie scenes. Entire cinematic franchises have been build around the notion of the old man, shotgun at the ready, on guard to protect his daughter’s virtue. Have you Met the Fockers?

But the media is about as accurate a reflection of reality as a Picasso, while being a shitload less inspiring.

Which leaves me wondering what a dad’s role in the sexual safekeeping of a daughter should be. Read the rest of this entry »