As I dropped my youngest off at daycare this morning, the teachers’ in the 18 month old ro… more
Posts Tagged ‘News’
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Parenting News: Recalls, Childhood Obesity, and Kids using Media
By Dad News Wednesday, January 20th, 2010
U.S. Kids Using Media Almost 8 Hours a Day: For those concerned that their kids are not getting enough media, rest assured. (HealthDay)
Controversial Parenting: To Spank or Not to Spank? The corporal punishment debate rages on. New studies show spanking doesn’t really hurt that much. (Associatedcontent) Read the rest of this entry »
Father of the Pantybomber: A Good One?
By Daddy Clay Friday, January 8th, 2010
If your son tries to murder 300 people by detonating his underwear on an aircraft, it’s a safe bet that your parenting has gone terribly wrong somewhere along the line. Nonetheless, I can’t help but imagine of the agony that the dad of the accused Pantybomber must have undergone before walking into the U.S. embassy in Nigeria to report that his son might be a terrorist.
I imagine Umaru Abdul Mutallab, a successful banker and former government minister, wondering about the well-being of his son, feeling angry at the adults using him for their own purposes, second guessing himself (Why did I cut him off financially?), and fearing shame. I can’t imagine making that decision. Turning my kid over as a potential threat to a nation not known for handling these with issues to compassion or delicacy (drones and hellfire missiles come to mind) must have been incredibly difficult. Read the rest of this entry »
Homecoming King
By Daddy Clay Thursday, January 7th, 2010
A recent post on WSJ parenting blog, the Juggle, has me paying attention to the way I come home. In it, the Jugglers point to study that found that, in two career families, moms get a much warmer response when arriving home than dads. According to this boutique study of 32 couples, dads are almost twice more likely to be disregarded or barely acknowledged by distracted children than moms. Moms are almost twice as likely to get some information about the school day than dads.
The bloggers speculate that later arrival times for dads may explain some of this. Which makes sense. Whoever the kids see first will get the download. But does it hold that moms in two-career households get home earlier than dads? That would take some sting out of the report. Otherwise, men are behaving in some way upon homecoming that disinclines kids from interacting with them. And this deserves a closer look. Read the rest of this entry »
Working Mother Wants It All, in Divorce Court
By Daddy Clay Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
A recent article in Working Mother Magazine has unearthed a disturbing trend: Stay-at-Home Dads winning custody and child-support in divorce cases. According to the article, things are going badly for working moms because times are so good. Our culture, as expressed by the economy, is valuing women’s work more highly than ever. Recent layoffs have hit men in a disproportionate way. Women are now 50% of the workforce, poised to become the majority for the first time in history. To my mind this represents progress. It is also a sign of progress that men are taking greater part in household tasks and the raising of children.
The WMM author, however, wrings her hands over an increasing number of “heartbreaking stories of moms who have lost primary physical custody” on the web. Perhaps, but the agony of divorce is a zero sum game, we’re just distributing the suffering in a more equitable fashion. For every heartbroken mom, there is one less heartbroken dad.
We’ve all seen the recent coverage of returning service women suffering through divorce and loss of custody. It’s tragic, but so common among male soldiers that the “Dear John” letter has become a cliché of men serving in war. My heart goes out to soldier moms, or anyone locked in a custody battle, but the bottom line here is that primary caretakers are primary caretakers regardless of gender. Choice, as it pertains to breadwinning, is irrelevant. More women provide than ever. Congrats on that. More men caretake than ever. Sign of progress. Why is there surprise or anxiety over dads being awarded custody? Did we not see this coming? New opportunities have costs.
I’m particularly disturbed by some of the cultural stereotypes directed at the caregiving dads. “I begged him to get a job,” one of the article’s moms claims in court, as evidence for her fitness to be the custodial parent. Huh? So she can have an advantage in divorce court? What exactly, does that mean? Primary caretaking man, throw whatever emasculating stereotype you like at him, gets primary custody.
To their credit, WMM does attempt to see the situation from a father’s point of view with a side bar from Philip Lerman, but, perhaps understandably, the clear message is that the news for working mothers is very bad.
This is not bad news, nor a “code red” situation as the article suggests. It’s a sign of progress. For women it is very literally the price of doing business.
Welcome to the sexual revolution, Part Deux.
