This time, the Cretin family reviews something TheBoy WILL like! The John Deere Monster Tr… more
Posts Tagged ‘kids’
By Daddy Danny Wednesday, May 21st, 2014
I don’t write blogs, as I don’t like to share my thoughts or feelings with the world, as I do not feel that the world gives a shit.
There are others in this world living harder lives, struggling with issues far worse than I could ever imagine. On the positive side, there are others using their time and talents to do something greater for the world than I’m doing.
(By the way, this isn’t going to be some never-ending pointless rant — I just have to write out my thoughts first and this how I do it — this is why I don’t blog.)
Another reason I don’t write blogs, is that I’m too damn busy…oh, I really have time to do it, but let me explain…
I’m married with two small children (2 year old) and (2 month old). I own my own business which is video production and editing, which keeps me busy. The best part is that I work from home so I’m always around. Which is great. I’m not complaining about this part of my life. I love it. I support my wife and my children from the comfort of home, which is great and it’s something I work hard to maintain as I’m freelancer. I have to find work when I don’t have it.
We did live in our own place, until my father-in-law was diagnosed with glioblastoma. Basically, it’s one of the shittiest kind of brain cancers you can get. Look it up.
He should be dead, but amazingly, he received amazing treatment at UCLA and they actually removed all of it. Isn’t that nuts!? Medical science is the bomb. The only unfortunate thing is that the left side of his body is being rehabilitated, so it’s a tough recovery, but…it’s a recovery.
So, we moved in with my wife’s parents to take care of my them. I make breakfast, lunch and dinner. We do a lot of the chores, clean the house, help my father-in-law around… just make sure life keeps moving forward. I pay for a lot of the food, but I don’t have a house payment or rent, internet fees, or a power bill. I’ve been paying off all my debts (which has been going great..almost done)…SO…I’m not complaining about this part of my life either. It’s like the old days where families lived together. My sons get to see their grandparents, and only once in a while is there an occasional blowout fight…so not too bad.
Now, with being a freelancer, taking care of my wife, my two kids, parents-in-laws, two dogs and a big house, life keeps me pretty busy. By the time I finally sit down to do what I really want to do, I don’t know how to do it…and I think that’s point of this blog.
I CAN do something, with that little bit of precious time, I just don’t do it. I’m so angry at myself every time I have about an hour or two of free time…and I spend it looking up shit on the IMDB, reading BBC news or browsing Facebook on my phone. I read some news column about a tragedy in Sudan or some amazing thing NASA is doing. I’m saddened about a tragedy I read, then excited about an invention I watched a video about…then that’s it. The hour’s over and I have accomplished nothing in my own life. I’ve learned nothing.
In my free time, I COULD do something amazing and create an inspiring video for DadLabs, (and after making over probably 2000 videos for the web I can shoot and edit video really fast) but I find myself with nothing to say that hasn’t already been said about parenting or is being said about parenting. What’s one more goddamn post about being a dad?
In my free time, I COULD work on the 2nd or 3rd drafts of my screenplays (yeah, I actually do finish 1st drafts), but even if I do finish my scripts, the Hollywood connections that I have will leave me with nothing. And even if I do decided to make another movie…(yeah, I actually made a movie)…what’s the point of making another movie? There is already around 50,000 movies made a year so who gives a shit if I’m 50,001.
In my free time, I COULD read a newly released book..but every time I start reading a newly released book, it’s just a retelling of something I’ve read before or a new spin on an old tale, or god forbid it’s already been made into a movie I’ve already seen.
In my free time, I COULD learn a new language, but I’m not traveling anywhere to use that language, AND by time I learn a new language, they’ll just invent some tiny earpiece so everything is translated for you. (That’s my belief anyway)
In my free time, I COULD do SOMETHING. But I don’t DO anything to advance myself. Yes, I’m a good father and husband. I’m a good son-in-law. I’m a good son–I call my parents and grandmother. I’m pretty descent with making commercials and videos for the web. I’m in pretty descent shape.
But overall, what the hell am I doing? Where am I going? Where are any of us going? I feel like I’ve peaked with everything in my life. I’m talking about about my individual self. Am I just going to be waking up everyday, doing the same things?
Making local commercials for a company on the East Coast forever?
Making money, then using all the money to pay off bills or eat or take small vacations?
I’m not a mover or a shaker…I’m just a do’er. I just do stuff to get by.
I go online and read about accomplishments or tragedies, and then I go back to my life…not doing anything of significance or importance.
Perhaps that’s what everyone feels like. Maybe I’m not alone.
I really don’t have anything to complain about, so I should probably just shut up. There are other people in the world dealing with worse things than myself, but I can’t help feeling like I should be doing something more with my time.
I’m almost 35….Maybe my generation will be also be called “The Lost Generation”…as in our voices were lost, because so many voices and stories are being overwhelming shared. So many thoughts, stories, pictures and lives are shared, but only a few REALLY matter.
This blog post doesn’t really matter.
I’m a white male, living an average life in America. I’m nothing special.
I didn’t invent something amazing on Kickstarter.
I didn’t do a documentary to change people’s views.
I’ve made a ton of videos for the web, but none of them are viral. (Like that really matters, but it is my business…so it would be somewhat nice)
I sit around and I watch the world spin. I have ideas to help or shape the world, but I don’t do anything but talk about it to my wife, then nothing happens.
I’m so grateful for what I have. A happy family, but I’m worried about how to maintain that for the next 50-60 years. I can’t keep doing the same thing, but I have no idea how to break out of it.
Am I worth anything anymore to this planet? To our species?
Where Am I Going?
By Daddy Clay Friday, April 4th, 2014
Historically, “Ick” has been under appreciated. In the context of raising kids, Ick is an integral part of the experience, essential to bonding. Our children know instinctively that their parents love them because we don’t flee at the sight of their massive Ick. Now, finally, Clorox is casting a spotlight on Ick.
After all, the best parts of our lives are those everyday moments – true, spontaneous and imperfect. Unfortunately some of these moments are downright icky, but Clorox is here to help you laugh through the mess.
Clorox and famed improv group, The Second City Communications, are teaming up for the first ever Clorox Ick Awards, a live interactive experience celebrating life’s ickiest (and funniest) moments. And you can be a part of the show.
The Clorox Ick Awards is your “reality” award show, honoring those situations and experiences that we can all relate to. Your real-life, real-time submissions will inspire The Second City Communications’ icky improv sketches, which will be shared live on Twitter Wednesday, April 9 from 6 – 10 p.m. ET. There are even rumors that a SNL alum may be joining the festivities (Hint: this person is the only SNL cast member ever to have the privilege of going to college with Daddy Clay).
The hilarious dudes from How To Be A Dad will be hosting the proceedings on Twitter, with an assist from DadLabs for the first hour, so don’t miss a minute of the action! The Clorox Ick Awards on happening on Wednesday, April 9 from 6-10 p.m. ET. Join the conversation, share your Ick Awards nominations, win prizes ($2500 worth!) and watch The Second City Communications’ hilariously icky sketches on Twitter using #ickies.
Have a hilariously icky moment you want to nominate in advance? Share it using #ickies and “tune in” to see if it is featured in an improv sketch from The Second City Communications and visit Clorox.com and sign up for Clorox’s email newsletter to learn more about how Clorox can help you laugh through the mess.
Disclosure: Hard to believe, but we are being compensated to spend time cracking up at the Ickies. This sponsorship has in no way compromised our commitment to celebrating the disgusting grandeur of fatherhood.
By concretin_nik Tuesday, February 18th, 2014
TheBoy doesn’t dig super heroes like most little boys. Much to my dismay. I mean, it’s ok, kids like what they like. But his lack of any obsessiveness with super heroes also means I don’t have an excuse to buy action figures like I have been counting on for the last 6 years. My action figure desires are somewhat quelled by his fondness of My Little Ponies. (MLP for you hipsters.) At least they do have small plastic action figures, even if they do have hair and are presented in pastels and rainbows. I can still work with this. Crafting playsets out of cardboard and making stop motion movies gets us playing together, and sparks his imagination. And that’s the whole point of action figures (for me anyway). Perhaps the citizens of Equestria will be gateway figures to more ‘core toys like Star Wars, Batman, and The Avengers. Hope springs eternal.
Hasbro has perhaps come through for me with Super Hero Mashers. These are action figures with extremities that have the interchangeability of Legos. Want to see what Spiderman would look like with Iron Patriot’s head? You can do that. Want a hero with the smash power of the Hulk, yet wears the drapes of Thor’s mother. Tada! Easy. (Didja catch that Avengers reference?)
I received a package of 2 Mashers. Let me first say that on both figures, the elbow joints took some serious elbow grease (see what I did there?) to get moving, as they were locked up out of the box. They loosened up enough after a bit o’ working them back and forth. Other than that, these seem like toys with a cool design that your 11 year old will dig, but are also durable enough that your 5 year old won’t destroy them.
They sent me a Fourth of July set, if you will, of Iron Patriot and Captain America. So the typical mishmashing of trading out arms and legs didn’t produce a particularly dramatic result, though TheBoy was already laughing and having fun. (Score 1!) But let’s see if we can’t come up with something even more fun. Enter… IRON PRIMATE, and CAPTAIN MONKEYPANTS!
We laughed and laughed and made gorilla noises the entire time. I’m not sure these will ever get switched up again. Thank you (again) Hasbro! The Super Hero Mashers are a hit in the Cretin house!
You can get in on the fun and share your mashups on Facebook and Instagram tagging with #MyMashUp.
Disclosure: I received the toys free from Hasbro in exchange for my honest review and opinion. –Concretin Nik
By Daddy Clay Thursday, October 17th, 2013
For a guy that sets being a good dad atop his list of ambitions, it’s hard to confess to behavior that is irresponsible or unmanly. Behold the courage as I do both.
First things first: Being irresponsible. I admit that for months, maybe even for more than a year, I have allowed for there to be no operational smoke detectors in my house. At this point, all firefighters and insurance adjusters have left the room. I can feel you judging me. Read the rest of this entry »