In Austin, traffic is heinous enough to make you give up driving forever if a) it’s Frid… more
Posts Tagged ‘humor’
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Raising Cheaters
By Daddy Clay Thursday, November 1st, 2012
Recently I’ve heard lots of parents expressing concerns about the prevalence of cheating in our society. These moms and dads point to elite sports and even the most prestigious institutions of higher learning and worry that cheating has become the norm.
Well, duh. What a bunch of suckers.
Parents that live in the real world are so over honesty. We know that our kids are unlikely to get ahead if they are encumbered with notions of fair play, mindless rule following, and namby pamby truth telling.
For those of you still admiring worn out role models like George Washington, Abraham Lincoln or Greg LeMond, I have a couple of pointers for raising effective cheaters. Read the rest of this entry »
How to Brag About Your Kids
By Daddy Clay Wednesday, September 12th, 2012
Stop it. Don’t pretend you don’t like bragging about your kids. We all do. Two things that are equally hard to do: not screaming at your kids in private and not boasting about them in public.
Facebook has made it so, so much easier to brag about your kids because you don’t have to listen to yourself. You just throw up the photo of the offspring hoisting the trophy and bask in the pixelated glow, unabashed. Read the rest of this entry »
Fatherhood Writes, “Dear Ad Industry…”
By Daddy Clay Friday, April 20th, 2012
Dear Ad Industry,
I hate to admit it, but for once you’ve totally nailed it. It’s true. Dads are idiots. Fathers today — totally clueless and blundering, yet forced into parenting ineptitude because our uber-competent wives are powering through the workforce. Well played, sirs. No hiding from you.
Recently, watching a commercial or gazing at an ad — it’s been like looking in a mirror! I feel like I could shave in one. Read the rest of this entry »
10 Things Parenting Has Taught Me About the Human Body
By Daddy Clay Thursday, March 8th, 2012
1) There is not a single place, inside or out, of the human body that cannot be bruised, infected, covered with a rash, scabrous, bilious, infested, crusty or rancid. Sometimes all of the above. When we think of childhood injuries we think of a stubbed toe or a bump on the head, but absolutely everything else in between can and will be damaged.
2) Girls toot like crazy. Read the rest of this entry »
