As I dropped my youngest off at daycare this morning, the teachers’ in the 18 month old ro… more
Posts Tagged ‘daughter’
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Oh The Things Dads Do
By Daddy Clay Tuesday, September 16th, 2008
OK, so I’ve had my 9 year old daughter in dance classes for a few years now. She loved the ballet and tap. After a few years of that, she wanted to branch out into gymnastics, so I said OK. Her latest thing, though, is hip hop. I told her she had to make some choices, because she couldn’t get so involved in dance that her school grades suffered.
So fast forward to tonight. She’s ditched the ballet and tap in favor of hip hop, but needs to practice. So on to iTunes I go to get her music. Now I love my daughter, but getting her to move to the beat on some of these songs is like trying to teach a two by four. Still, we’re at the CD player, listening to the same song over and over, clapping the beat, then graduating to walking the beat. Then she tells me her teacher wants her to “shake her butt and walk with attitude”.
Take a breath, dad. You’ve seen the hip hop performances before…they’re clean.
The only problem is that her version of shaking her butt looks more like a crippling leg injury. I can’t let her take the stage looking like she’s trying to walk while her legs are dropping off, and my wife (who makes my jaw drop whenever she dances) is relaxing in bed after spending the day with our son, who is a miniature version of The Punisher in smelly diapers. Read the rest of this entry »
How To Take Your Daughter To A College Football Game
By Daddy Clay Thursday, September 4th, 2008
1. Cash in your 529s so you can afford season tickets. Just like college tuition, the price of football tickets is skyrocketing. Sacrifice is called for. Remind your little girl that someday the seats might be hers, so you really are thinking about the future.
2. Arrive at least an hour and a half early so that she can take in the atmosphere of tailgate area. Encourage her to turn down the free sample of Red Bull offered by the pneumatic blonde in hotpants. Give a quick overview of feminism.
3. Make sure you are in the seats in time to see pregame band, number retirement ceremony, flagwaving and flyover.
4. Leave seats at 12:40 in the first quarter to go to the alumni center to get something to eat. Give yourself permission to bond with your daughter by eating tons of crappy stadium food with her. Won’t the time be more special if you share a supertanker sized Dr.Pepper?
5. Return to the seats just in time for halftime show. When your girl gets fascinated with the baton twirler, resume your feminism talk. Stop the talk when the twirler sets the ends of her baton on fire because that is cool.
6. Explain that despite the loud conversation going on behind you, that a football stadium is not the appropriate place to work out your family issues.
7. Be prepared that night games last well beyond most girls’ bedtimes and they may get tired, so you may not see the last two minutes. Or the fourth quarter. Or large tracts of the third.
8. Don’t rear end the Lexus ahead of you while staring in the rearview at the sweet little girl conked out in the back seat.
9. Repeat as often as childhood and football seasons allow.
Nutcracker Flashback
By Daddy Clay Friday, December 21st, 2007
(I’m skipping out of work a little early today to go see a matinee performance of the Nutcracker with Ri-ri. So I don’t really have time for a new post. So I’m bringing back something from my now defunct blog “It’s Only Pee.” Enjoy and happy holidays.)
My daughter is literally on the edge of her seat, craning her neck as the director steps in front of the curtain to address the audience. She looks heartbreakingly cute in her special holiday dress. I’ve even dusted off my one and only suit for the occasion. The lights are dimming and the prelude has begun.
Time for a little parenting guilt.
