Hey new and expecting parents, listen up.
My grandma used to say “If you never put salt on your corn on the cob, then you’ll never miss the delicious salty taste.” That was her way of letting me know that it’s easier to never start practicing the vices of boozing, smoking and gambling, than it is to quit once you begin.
Wise words indeed, especially when applied to parenting and our desire to appease our children’s cries with easy and immediate solutions but no thought of the long term ramifications.
But you too my dear friends have the gift of a drunken elders experience.
While snuggling with your babies until they fall asleep is a joyous thing, be wary. These cute little things grow up, learn to snore and end up kicking like mules in their slumber. Not to mention it’s good for marriage to have an all adult bed. If the young ones get a taste of sleeping in mom and pops bed, it will be very difficult to get them to fall sleep alone in their own bed. Like bed begs, they are hard to get rid of. Be prepared to spend significant time in the weaning process and expect much wailing and gnashing of teeth. It’s easier never to start!
And then there is the awful music filled with car horns, farting noises and mooing cows. Don’t do it. Make them listen to what you like! And never, I mean never let them lock on to one song. A song so ingrained I their psyche that they scream and cry unless they hear it over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Keep the ipod on constant shuffle. Trust me on this one.
The buzz tonight is never worth the hangover tomorrow.
My exploits (and failures) regarding co-sleeping (as well as several other members) are well documented in the forums: https://www.dadlabs.com/forum/Preschool-Dads/Sleep-Issues-Preschool/Transitioning-From-Crib-To-Bed.html#7581
Yes, flailing lil’ legs will give you the worst possible wake up at 2am. But I call bullshit on the “adult bed is good for marriage.” Our “family bed” was never a problem for our marriage/relationship (aside from the late night nut kicks and nose punching). “Creativity” in time and location for intimacy is NOT difficult. We have a small house, and his bed is still in our bedroom, so even though he’s outta the bed, we still ain’t doin’ it in the bed when he’s asleep.
I absolutely loved having TheBoy in the bed. I really wouldn’t have a problem with him being there now, if he’d just sleep peacefully and wouldn’t beat the crap out of me. He’s out, because I need to sleep without fear of injury, not because he’s futzin’ with my sex life. (Though the kicks might be part of why he still doesn’t have a lil’ sister.)
I hear you, and as you, LOVED (and still do) having the young ones in the bed. Very peaceful and sweet. However,I would argue there is more to the marriage bed than just intimacy although I do believe it cuts down on the spontaneous moments. And also one issue not covered is having to tailor the adults evening schedule in order to get the little ones to sleep. If they can’t go sleep without your presence it can be time consuming. When Ella was going through a period such as this I had to sit on the floor in her room until she feel asleep. Now I brought the laptop and ear phones and finished every season of LOST, Arrested Development, both versions of the Office and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia but that was back when HULU was fully stocked, cool and free!
Agreed about the adult presence. HisMother generally lays with him (in his bed) now ’til he falls asleep. Sometimes we just go ahead and all go to bed and go to sleep. But then no chores(or anything fun) gets done…
We definitely need to start weening him from that. I think that will be easier when we get him in his own ROOM.