As I sat in traffic the other day in the midst of another long car pool commute my mind drifted to a wilder time. I think it was the Wayback Wednesday tunes cranking out of the stereo that harkened me back to days of free-time frivolity. I began to wax longingly for the schedule of our childless years. The days began early with coffee and a leisurely read of the paper followed by a big breakfast of high fat content chicken and pork products ( my changed eating habits have nothing to do with kids and a lack of free time, it’s just nice to remember a pre 40’s waist line and metabolism). With the morning paper and triple omelet properly digested, it was off to work.

The pre child work day was somewhat similar to post child work day except that the unexpected call you received was usually from a buddy wanting to cut out early to grab an afternoon round of golf rather than your son’s pre school teacher telling you to immediately come pick him up because he spiked a 102 fever and just threw up goldfish all over the story mat.

But it’s really after work where the pre and post child world diametrically divides. In our case, after work usually consisted of a strenuous work out, happy hour with friends, maybe dinner and a trip to the bookstore, home to catch our favorite show, a little late night with David Letterman and finally a lazy doze inducing read that melted into an entire uninterrupted six to eight hour period of slumber.

Let’s not even talk about the ridiculously decadent time period commonly referred to as the weekend. Remember weekends? Forty-eight hours of unlimited possibility that could either be spent entirely in bed watching movies or turned into a spontaneous cross country trip to rage at a music festival only to return to town early Monday morning just in time for the weekly staff meeting!

Yes those days were exciting and fun, but for Liz and I after three children they are just distant memories.. And that is just fine with us because the trade from free time to family time is hands down a trade up.

Now I know the transition from DINK to DIKOM (Dual Income Kids Oppressive Mortgage) can be difficult. Mercifully during the first few months of familydom both parents are so completely whacked out from lack of sleep and baby care tasks that neither has much time or inclination to miss the carefree lifestyle. But ultimately a new normal takes over and young parents begin the process of figuring out how to maintain a physically and socially active lifestyle with a new baby.

Here are a few random nuggets that I have learned on my journey down family lane that may be helpful for new and growing families to consider while striving to remain active:

*If workouts are not accomplished early in the morning while the kids are still asleep they are unlikely to occur. Don’t sweat it, there is always tomorrow.

*Continue to invite childless friends to family outings and events but don’t be offended if they don’t show.

*Seek out other families with children of similar ages and be social!

*Find a fabulous babysitter and make him/her a part of the family.

*Take your kids with you as many places as possible, tequila bars and midnight trips to Wal-Mart not included!

*Accept that most of your leisure reading will be done in the bathroom.

*Experiment with games and activities the entire family can enjoy. Resurrect dominoes and charades.

*Encourage and support your spouse to establish a fairly regular “girls and boys night out.”

*Dust off the lunch date!

*Use nap time wisely! Wink wink!

*Limit your kids extracurricular pursuits to one sport/activity per season, especially if you have multiple children. Constantly driving carpool is no way to live!

And most importantly:

*Date night should be a regularly recurring event and fiercely protected. Only postpone due to severe illness or an Act of God! I just learned this, treat it like gospel!

I have found these things to be true but in the end a successful transition to life with a new arrival is about achieving balance! Baby Balance!

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