As Father’s day approaches, I am feeling obligated to confess that I am both out-earned and out-parented by my spouse. It’s true. In my house, I am the perennial silver medalist in domesticity. A fact that I’m probably way more comfortable with than she is.

I have my strengths. I am an awesome reader of Harry Potter books. I drive a mean carpool. I can grill like Tyler Florence. And there is not a single regularly performed domestic task that I am incapable of performing with some proficiency. I am a highly competent second fiddle.

But, overall, I just flat get out-hustled by my wife. It may seem a strange, even self-defeating admission from a guy that operates a parenting website, but we’ve never made any claims about being a particularly good website. Working at DadLabs has certainly kept me more informed about domestic affairs than if I were a shoe salesman. But even that has a hidden downside: I have lots of informed opinions about the work my wife is doing. I share.

This clear-eyed analysis has led me to reset my Father’s Day expectations. Based on my performance, I am not actually entitled to expect a cool gadgety/pricey gift.

Although I have received such gifts from my generous wife in the past. I got my first iPhone this way. A gift made even more poignant by our odd, kosher financial life, where his and her plates rarely touch. So when she makes a generous gift, “we” did not give it to me. Additionally, she doesn’t like gadgets.

So this year, just to change things up, I’m going to buy myself one. I don’t expect that I be given some lavish reward on Father’s Day by my family, but I do expect it to provide me sufficient cover to buy myself one.

Some here at the DLGHQ have expressed some concern that the logic here is not rock solid. But that’s what they said about the flatware.