It’s a Friday morning, and I’m a half a step behind. By the time I think about putting snacks in packs, my wife has already done it.  Same with most of the little tasks I often do in the mornings: helping Coop with his shoes, permission slips, making sure PJs find hampers.  I may be a step slow because I had a late night, but I suspect the real problem is that I’ve been away.

Business travel has once again put a jackhammer to the delicate scales that keep my work and life in balance.
Maybe that’s overstating it, but it is certainly how I feel by the time I drop the kids at school (I did manage to contribute that). The routines have been shifted just a touch to compensate for my absence, and, on my first morning home, it’s like I’m not quite there yet.  My resourceful wife has stepped up. The trains still run on time when I’m gone.

But I’ve pushed it to the max. I’ve been gone for a total of ten days out of the last five weeks. I can tell that has taken a toll on her. She’s frustrated. Understandable, given that she is the primary breadwinner — the one that puts the roof over our head, yet I’m the one that’s jetting cross country to be on panels.  About being a good dad, no less.

Even worse, my travel is still largely speculative. I don’t get paid to show up at conferences, per se.  I might get a comped badge or reimbursed travel expenses, but no huge speaking fee.  I’m mostly networking, developing leads and content, getting face time with current or possibly future partners or sponsors.  All pretty intangible.

Plus I’m in Vegas for a lot of it.

We manage it, process it.  Sure we can try to do things to mitigate out absences, make homecoming fun, but what’s the limit?  How do we judge what is essential business travel? How, as dads, do we run this calculus of business opportunity versus impact on family Stay at homes, is the calculation different for you than dual-earner families?

I wonder, can we put a hard value on a day spent with the family? Wouldn’t that be the simplest way to decide? There something appealing about setting a hard line: no days away from the family that don’t pay or generate X dollars per day. Obviously, lots of business trips are difficult to valuate in this way (like most of mine).

Can you put a cash value on a day home with the family? Haven’t you, even if you don’t apply an exact dollar amount, in order to decide what trips to go on?

Are you cheap, dad?