Homework, to my mind, is a time for children to spend in their rooms with the doors closed, a perfect opportunity for a little parental “me time” and maybe a long-awaited turn on the Wii. But lately the amount of homework assigned to our kids has picked up, and our little Poindexters are requesting a billable amount adult help.

This is a problem for many reasons. First, there is the matter of integrity. I was opposed to homework as a student, how can I change my tune now? Just because I’m a parent? What kind of example does that set? And speaking of integrity, what happens when I do my daughter’s math homework for her and she gets a “D?” What damage does that do for her image of her father? A 3rd grader should not be expected to carry that kind of burden.

The one subject that I don’t mind helping with is Spanish because, not to brag or anything, I’m pretty much bilingual. But, again, problems. I guess my son’s teacher speaks European Spanish, because he doesn’t understand my son’s pronunciation of some vocabulary I taught him, even calling it “offensive” and “inappropriate.” Tell that to my teachers! Men who took time out from frying fish at “Aw, Shucks” in Dallas to introduce me to their culture. My pronunciation eventually became so good, my instructors couldn’t help but smile whenever they heard me speak. Not good enough, I guess.

I do appreciate some of the creative writing assignments the teachers have given my son. Although, as parents, we shouldn’t be surprised when we see ourselves appearing as characters in their work. It can even be touching. I’ll admit that a tear came to my eye as I read his science report on the “graceful” manatee. We are their heroes after all.

So take out your assignment books, fellow parents, and write down “do homework with kids.” Just don’t leave it where the dog can get it.