My wife comes from a family of PhD’s who are voracious readers. She too is close to finishing her PhD, and like her family, she reads more than average. But she absolutely does not read at the table. Nor does she like for me to read at the table. And if our kids are at the table and I read, I am accused of being an antisocial, bad parent.
She would never use those words, for she is truly one of the kindest people I know. And her judgement is far less harsh. At the same time I can hear her tone from behind my newspaper. She is serious about this one.
I totally get her point. The value of the communal family meal is super important. But come on dear, let me read just one day a week? Sunday mornings? I’ll even bring a real book, no e-reader. And maybe the kids could read too. It might even increase their chances of getting a post-doc.
On Father’s Day she acquiesced. This gift, this wonderful compromise to show me just how much she loves me, would also be her downfall. Once and for all I would show her how peaceful and relaxing our Sunday morning might be if we all were quietly reading around the table, the sun streaming in the windows, a little Bach.
Fail.
It turns out that even in her gene pool 4 and 7 year olds are not super interested in reading long enough for me to finish even a half section of the New York Times. They get up, and since Dad is ignoring them, they go to Mom. Not so peaceful for her.
Our relationship is not as adversarial and plotting as I pretend it to be. My wife has come around to me reading the paper, and on occasion she actually joins in (just don’t hand her the business section). And the kids, while they don’t actually read with us, but they have found this to be a good quiet time to work at their art table or do a puzzle.
Sunday mornings are pleasurably quiet in our home.
Going out for breakfast on Sunday morning is still in transition though. Our experience at home did not mirror our experience at a restaurant. With no art tables or floors upon which to plop, what to do? Actually there are floors upon which to plop and that was a big part of the problem. We clearly needed a different set of parenting tricks if we were going to even finish one section.
And here is trick number one. I found a kid friendly page from the paper and issued a challenge, a variation of the alphabet car trip game: find all of the ABC’s on this page of newspaper. And as an added bonus, here is a pen so you can circle the letters and work on your fine motor skills.
Total win. They loved it. They were quiet, and I got to read at the table. So far we have found the complete alphabet every time (double page spread, ads included). I say “we,” because I kind of enjoy it, especially from the statistical angle. Would just one article contain all the abc’s? This one about the cost of college sure does.
