Without a doubt the most common advice passed down from parent to parent is as follows: Enjoy it now, because they grow up so fast.   It=life.  They=children.

I have something to add to this equation.  But first, a story.

1990. Mom stood in the driveway, crying, while I sat alone in my jeep, paralyzed. Surrounded by all of my worldly belongings, my first post-college job waited for me in Texas. Adulthood had arrived, but I couldn’t hit the accelerator. Dad diffused the situation by leaning over and saying in a comforting yet uneasy tone: “Just go.”

Fast forward to today, twenty years later. I just dropped off my parents at the Austin airport. The scene was less emotional this time. I hugged them at the curb, told them how much fun it had been to see them with the kids, and thanked them for all the childcare they had given over the past week.

One day I will be the one crying in the driveway as my children move out. And if popular wisdom is to be believed, I too will rediscover my adult life without kids.

Recently it has hit home that I will also discover a life without parents. And so why, during their visit, don’t I carve our more time to be with them, just them. Sure the grandkids are important, but in a culture where we give all to our kids, we forget to look the other direction.

Next time they visit, I am going to spend more time with mom and dad. Invert the equation. Hire a babysitter. Dinner for four. No grandkids. Talk about the past, what they felt when I drove away. Talk about the future and how we negotiate that as a family. Most of all enjoy the now, because we all grow up so fast.