It’s official. I finally started the FitFatFit Dad Challenge and I am certain that it is going to be much harder to lose weight at my advanced paternal age, than it was when I was a young buck at 36. You see, five years ago after the birth of my son Walker, I dropped 45 lbs in a few months by strictly following the bourbon, bacon and cigarette diet. It was easy and fun. The BBC diet, as I like to call it, is very proficient at taking weight off your body, but I fear it is also proficient at taking years off your life. So this go around, I am going to actually be healthy, while I get healthy. I really would like to see all of my children grow up and start families of their own.

But during my pursuit of fitness, I have discovered a bigger problem. I am already an old coot in more ways than just physically.

As I began to concentrate on modifying my eating and exercise habits, my stodgeness in other areas of life became clear. I am not very patient, I yell at the television, I get super pissed off at our pets, and I am completely content with going to bed at 8:30…….alone.

It’s like I have been aging in dog years or something. Well no more.

I give you my 2009 New Year’s Resolutions:

1.) Get Fit: In other words beat Daddy Clay’s ass in the FitFatFit Dad Challenge. Hey Daddy Clay, Oprah called and she wants her body back.

2.) Lighten Up: Accept that 2&1/2 year olds can’t tie their shoes and 5 year olds really DON’T like green beans.

3.) Seek Tranquility: Only yell at real people, no more screaming at the tube. This is going to be hard because many of the coaches of my favorite teams have long histories for being really stupid.

4.) Be Efficient: Put shoes away the moment I take them off and don’t blame the puppy for chewing a hole in the soles of my boots that were left on the floor.

5.) Enjoy Life: Never skip a date night. Never.

I feel younger already.