In preparation for the FitFatFit challenge I deem it appropriate to disclose to you in word, my dear competitors, the condition of my body. Here we go.

I am: soft, pudgy, tubby, chubby, plump, obese, large, huge, thick, bulbous, porky, rotund, husky, corpulent, jowly, chunky, king sized, a whale, a beached whale, dom deloisesque, portly, big, out of shape, plus size, button killer, lard-ass, pear shaped, grotesque, heavy, doughy, flabby, robust, rolly polly, super sized, super tanker, jiggly, fat-ass, bloated, gravid (although not with eggs), overweight, stout, podgy, blubbery, enormous, wide, sizable, fleshy, blimpy, bulky, fatty, gluttonous, estranged from exercise, well-fed, over-fed, piggish, and just plain fat.

Pictures to follow. Yikes.