1. Cash in your 529s so you can afford season tickets. Just like college tuition, the price of football tickets is skyrocketing. Sacrifice is called for. Remind your little girl that someday the seats might be hers, so you really are thinking about the future.

2. Arrive at least an hour and a half early so that she can take in the atmosphere of tailgate area. Encourage her to turn down the free sample of Red Bull offered by the pneumatic blonde in hotpants. Give a quick overview of feminism.

3. Make sure you are in the seats in time to see pregame band, number retirement ceremony, flagwaving and flyover.

4. Leave seats at 12:40 in the first quarter to go to the alumni center to get something to eat. Give yourself permission to bond with your daughter by eating tons of crappy stadium food with her. Won’t the time be more special if you share a supertanker sized Dr.Pepper?

5. Return to the seats just in time for halftime show. When your girl gets fascinated with the baton twirler, resume your feminism talk. Stop the talk when the twirler sets the ends of her baton on fire because that is cool.

6. Explain that despite the loud conversation going on behind you, that a football stadium is not the appropriate place to work out your family issues.

7. Be prepared that night games last well beyond most girls’ bedtimes and they may get tired, so you may not see the last two minutes. Or the fourth quarter. Or large tracts of the third.

8. Don’t rear end the Lexus ahead of you while staring in the rearview at the sweet little girl conked out in the back seat.

9. Repeat as often as childhood and football seasons allow.