We had a rash of jellyfish stings this summer, and I was even stung myself. The sensation is not unlike getting about a dozen or so fire ant bites. It’s a fairly unpleasant combination of getting stung and running up against something gelatinous in murky water. Lots of sad reports about how the proliferation of jellyfish is a sign of oceans in distress. In an informal study of family members stung: 2007- 0/5, 2008 – 4/5. Without getting too specific about how I came to know this, pee works better than vinegar — more instant relief. From the pain. Of the sting.
2) When they hand out free Dramamine at the dock of the whale watch, it’s a good day to go t-shirt shopping
I’ve already gone into this, but when the guy whose job it is to sell tickets asks you if you could possibly come back another day, this is a red flag. Free Dramamine on the Lido deck, another. Fog so thick you can’t see the end of the dock, another. From the time we pulled out of the harbor, it was clear the only way we were going to encounter a whale was if the boat hit one. Loved it when the captain brought the ship to a halt and asked for quiet so we could listen for whales. Then, suddenly, there it was, the distinct sound of a bloated tourist blowing chunks off the stern. We’ve had some amazing whale watches out of Provincetown. This year, not so much.
3) Bloody fish is fascinating, crappy train museum are awesome, in other words, kids have really low standards
We go to a huge effort and no small expense to take these kids to some pretty incredible places, but I sometimes get the feeling that if we just took them to the dump and let them watch the bulldozers work, we’d do just as good. Again this year, the kids were wowed by the Fish Pier where the commercial fisherman load bloody, slimy fish carcasses into a metal chute, then the catch flops and smacks and slurps its way past kids that gawk and cheer. I don’t get it. They do. The train museum is an abandoned station with some salvage, a few photos, a friendly staff, and a deathtrap/vintage caboose open for play. I do not get it. The kids do.
4) Yiddish Policeman’s Union by Michael Chabon is the ultimate beach book
Except for that last 70 pages, this is the best book I’ve read in five years. A page turning plot, a mind-bending premise and setting, and a wit that will send your fruity, pool-side beverage spewing out your nose.
5) My kids are like celebrity kids
A very well known singer/moviestar spends his summer about a block away from where we spend ours. His boat (a big fancy one) is pulled up on a dock about 50 yards from where our much smaller skiff sits at anchor. I spent some time congratulating myself that without spending a lot of money, I was providing my kids the same summer experiences that the celebrity kids were getting. Then I realized that was a pretty People Magazine way of evaluating your parenting. Not a proud moment. But I still want his autograph.
