We are standing on a pier in Provincetown, on the very tip of Cape Cod, when I come to a realization. My wife and I have a very different Parenting Point of No Return.
All parents have to make “Go” or “No Go” calls all the time when it comes to family outings. Do we risk a trip out to eat, out to a movie, to the Outlet mall. Is the weather okay for that camping trip? Should we really hit the road, the trail, the river, the beach? If you are lucky, you and your spouse will have roughly the same criterion, when it comes to making these calls. You will have the same Parenting Point of No Return.
It doesn’t work that way in our house. When it comes to going on outings, my PPONR is the end of the driveway. I’m an eternal optimist (see DadLabs), always sure that things will work out for the best. Damn the torpedoes. Full speed ahead. So, kids in tow, I tend to plow ahead through meltdowns, and threatening weather and my wife’s objections.
Because her Parenting Point of No Return can come at any point that reason dictates that the group should turn around and go home. What’s with that?
So there we stand, at the gangway for the Dolphin Fleet Whalewatching expeditions having a discussion. The honest gentleman at the ticket booth has been very clear that the conditions are poor — low visibility, high winds and rough seas. The lady taking tickets at the gangplank is handing out Dramamine tablets for free.
As I stated earlier, we’re past the end of the driveway, so all signs are go for me. We’re driven an hour, the kids are good on boats, besides Coop will go ballistic if we bail. My wife is convinced that I am insane, yet again. I get to share the heat to an extent because we are joined on the outing by a gang of family members from my wife’s side, and we’ve so relentlessly talked up the experience that they are eager to go.
So we spend the next four hours pitching an yawing through pea soup fog. The only visible action is the pod of North American Red-Faced Tourists chumming with breakfast off the stern. Being experienced boat people, our group has resorted to the time-tested sea sickness defense of swilling rum and Cokes.
At the last possible minute, the captain manages to save the Dolphin Fleet about five grand in refunds by stumbling onto a surprisingly large groups of humpbacks. About seven individuals in all. It’s always amazing to see these creatures in the wild, truly awe-inspiring. Maybe not the same kind of experience as we’ve had in previous years, watching groups bubble feed, but still pretty cool.
My wife came away from the experience with the opinion that her vote to turn around had been validated, but we did see whales, so I’d call it a draw. But then again, I’m an optimist.
How do you manage the disparity of PPONR in your house? Is this a gender thing? Do other dads plow ahead when all the signs say turn back?
