So, I’m in New York recently, rattling my tin cup on street corners, trying to keep DadLabs on the air. The morning of my departure, the alarmclock in the flophouse goes off well before dawn, so I can beat the traffic to JFK. I check in at the JetBlue kiosk, get my boarding pass, but curiously, don’t see my flight listed on the departures board. I get flashbacks.

Maybe because it’s so early, I think, and off to breakfast I go.

It’s 7:30, time to board, so I mosey to the gate, but the posted destination is San Jose, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to Austin.

I look again at the boarding pass.

PM.

7:30 PM.

I have shown up 13 hours early for my flight.

The Moron Can’t Read Fee: $40 (got on a 9:30AM flight). Being reminded yet again you’re an idiot: priceless.