I took one look at the thing and sprained both ankles and fractured my tibia.

Because skateboards are not nearly unstable and dangerous enough, someone went ahead and invented the Ripstik. To these guys, four wheels seemed excessive, so they pared that down to two, and put those on casters. Then, because some beta testers didn‘t dislocate both kneecaps, they hinged the thing in the middle.

Several of the neighborhood kids scores these things from irresponsible parents at Christmas, and a recent warm stretch brought them out in the open. My son saw. My son begged. I’m a sucker for anything that gets the kids outside and moving around. I did a little research, and was a bit put off by the sticker (MSRP $129), but found one on Amazon for just $77 (yesterday I saw one for that price at Target). I decided to limit my liability (Bubba is a highly litigious child) by splitting the cost with the boy. He ponied up; I hit “place order.”

Cut to: short montage of child asking father “is it here yet” for four straight days.

The thing finally arrives, and that was the last time I saw my son. The learning curve was essentially vertical. In minutes he had figured out the weird scissor motion that allows a rider to actually propel the thing up hills. A pack of Ripstik children came wiggling out of the gloom, and away they went.

I don’t know if there is a better place than a boarding school campus to ride these things, but if there is, I’d like to know about it. Got any Ripstik families out there?

Bubba (2nd from right, and crew — taken with iPhone)