Last week I read Bubba’s report card, and it said to me, “You’re working too much.” The grades were down, not sharply, but noticeably. In her comments, his teacher tried to allay our fears, but no use, my wife and I spiraled immediately down into the dank, vermin-infested dungeon of working-parent guilt.

For years, the pattern was, I work 8-3ish, come home, do homework with kid or kids, dinner, bath, bedtime, second shift from 9pm – ?. But I have found that since turning 40, it just gets harder and harder to belly up to the keyboard and punch the clock for the late-night session. So in compensation, my clockout time at DadLabs has been creeping back. Net loss of tutoring time with kiddo. Hence grades.

Add to that, the pressure of friends and the call of outdoors, and the need to provide an actual childhood. Ideologically, I believe that kids are over-scheduled, that they need time to just play and be kids. When a friend comes to the door, my immediate impulse is to send the kid out. But looking at the report card, one of my first thoughts; “Wow, the admissions committee (at the private school where my wife works) is going to look at these grades next year.”

I’m thinking about ADMISSIONS! I’m becoming one of THOSE?! Time to pull the kid out of class so we can go sniff glue together all day.

I know that most of you couples have two careers (78% according the latest study I’ve seen). I know that my neighborhood with its guilt-magnifying, study-defying, over-abundance of stay-at-homes is not representative. But I am at a loss and submerged in guilt.

When do your kids have their homework time? Do you feel they need adult supervision (Bubba is 4th grade, maybe I need to let him shoulder more of the responsibility here)? Does two-working parents necessitate some kind of after-school, after-care study time? How to you deal with the guilt of having the kid in school from 8-5?

Maybe I’m just late to the juggle – my apologies if you are having a “duh” moment at my expense, but do please share your experience.

I’ll check comments tonight after the kids go to bed, ’cause I’m outta here.