My commute today was especially nerve wracking. I kept glancing over my shoulder worrying about my little passengers. Were they comfortable? Were they safe? So sweet. So vulnerable.

Those little hamsters. Butterflies, too.

Today we filmed an episode today all about “starter pets,” so I had conducted a petnapping, and I was sure that the stress would result in Bubba’s hamsters keeling over, destroying forever my relationship with my children.

I also took the “Butterfly Garden” a mesh cage containing the ten or so Painted Ladies that had recently emerged from their cocoons. The whole deal came from a kit, and Coop loves the setup way more than he loves me. Ever since the jar of caterpillars arrived a couple of weeks ago, he’s given me a daily update on their progress. He would be upset if I had to tell him that I turned the Painted Ladies into a pile of colorful fragments when the cage went pinballing around the cabin when I threw the Mazda into a four wheel drift on the way to work.

My hands tightened on the wheel. Beads of sweat emerged on my brow.

The critters have thus far survived the day of shooting, so now it’s time to spirit them back to the house before the kids get home and notice I’m even exploiting the family pets for my ambition of becoming an internet star.

The whole ride home, I’ll have butterflies in my stomach, and in my back seat.