Small Packages
It's Christmas morning. Christmas presents have been opened. Next up, time for dad to open up all the packages that the kids toys come in. In this episode of The Lounge, Daddy Clay explains his frustration with toy packaging, twist ties (how many does a Barbie need, really?), and batteries during the holidays. The Dads also take on the issue of small packages. Stocking stuffers or wrapped gifts: what's the metric? DadLabs The Lounge ep. 234.
Daddy Clay: welcome back to the lounge. This week obviously we are making preparations for Christmas. You starting to feel it there Daddy Brad?
Daddy Brad: Oh fa-la-la-la baby I really am. Look at all this beautiful stuff.
Daddy Clay: Yeah Daddy Don did a really good job dressing the set trying to get us into the spirit.
Daddy Brad: Have you licked that yet?
Daddy Clay: It’s wax.
Daddy Brad: It’s a candy cane.
Daddy Clay: You know I am just not feeling it.
Daddy Brad: Come on dude it’s a festive season.
Daddy Clay: I am just not ready yet.
Daddy Brad: Joy, beer, joy.
Daddy Clay: I am just not ready yet, its premature. I understand that and I do enjoy the special holiday brew that we are having today.
Daddy Brad: Yes I do too.
Daddy Clay: Which is just white beer.
Daddy Brad: Yeah, why are you down? Why are you a little sad?
Daddy Clay: Well here is the thing I am imagining Christmas morning and I love Christmas morning. Kids come in, Santa presents are open. The paper flies they are so ecstatically happy. And then what happens is like the long, stretch of Christmas that I dread.
Daddy Brad: What is?
Daddy Clay: Which is I sit in the chair and the kids bring me their toys one by one and I am expected to take them out of the package.
Daddy Brad: Oh tough.
Daddy Clay: And install batteries,
Daddy Brad: Yes that is tough.
Daddy Clay: And each time they bring me a toy it is dangerous because the risk of injury is high, it’s tedious and it’s-it just drives me crazy.
Daddy Brad: Because they are encased in concrete and they are all tied up.
Daddy Clay: They’ve got that plastic that you have to have an ascetalin torch to get open and you may damage the toy while you are getting that plastic open.
Daddy Brad: Yes.
Daddy Clay: And it can cut you. It’s like a Ginsu wrapping the stuff.
Daddy Brad: Yes.
Daddy Clay: This plastic they make they also use for steak knives.
Daddy Brad: Yes.
Daddy Clay: So you cut yourself on that stuff and then you face the nightmare obstacle of the twisties.
Daddy Brad: Oh yeah millions of twisties.
Daddy Clay: How many twisties does it take people to put a Barbie in a box? Evidently about 75! And it is not just a twisty right? So you put the twisty around the dolls neck, through the cardboard and then into one of those like plastic holders right?
Daddy Brad: Yes, yes.
Daddy Clay: Then some person ties it who has like a third degree black belt Boy Scout degree. They tie it in some triple square knot.
Daddy Brad: Right.
Daddy Clay: And then they slap some tape over that son of a bitch!
Daddy Brad: Right they do that so that the package will not shift or the product will not shift in the package.
Daddy Clay: Are you kidding me?
Daddy Brad: For its long voyage from-
Daddy Clay: The packaging is indestructible. You need an A-bomb. You’ve got to put that thing under a concrete booger and blow it up.
Daddy Brad: Right.
Daddy Clay: And I always get tired of it like my maximum is like 8 twisties. And if that thing has 10 twisties I am just ripping that son of a bitch out.
Daddy Brad: Pretty much, pretty much.
Daddy Clay: I mean after 9 twisties I don’t care if he head comes off, all the legs pop off.
Daddy Brad: But the toy will make it here intact from China. That is why they do that.
Daddy Clay: I can’t stand it. And then you got to get those like vascular micro surgery like glasses on to put the batteries in whatever it is.
Daddy Brad: Yeah but you know why that is? That is collusion between toy manufacturers and tool manufacturers. There is no other reason to buy a screwdriver that is that big-
Daddy Clay: No you’ve got to go buy-
Daddy Brad: except to change that tiny little screw.
Daddy Clay: The microscopic screwdriver for the microscopic screws and so what if we –
Daddy Brad: You could eat one of those things and pass it and you wouldn’t even know that you had eaten it.
Daddy Clay: Why are batteries-when did batteries become like so dangerous they need a security system in the toy?
Daddy Brad: Yeah I don’t understand.
Daddy Clay: If you know-if you have any insight into when batteries-I remember when I was a kid there was just that little plastic latch. Like boom, boom open batteries go in. Thing closes and you are done.
Daddy Brad: But if you know like batteries themselves come in that plastic crazy titanium encased deal.
Daddy Clay: So if you have any insight into when packaging went totally insane and when batteries became dangerous please drop us a comment.
Daddy Brad: But light bulbs are wrapped in tissue paper.
Daddy Clay: I don’t know, drives you crazy. So the other thing that is on my mind-
Daddy Brad: Yeah?
Daddy Clay: Stockings. I am really worried about stockings this year.
Daddy Brad: Why what’s your worry?
Daddy Clay: Well my question is like what goes in the stocking versus what get wrapped?
Daddy Brad: Apples, nuts, candy and crap. That is a stocking stuffer.
Daddy Clay: I know but that is terrible.
Daddy Brad: That’s the way it is dude.
Daddy Clay: There has got to be a different-so nothing, no present no matter the dimension goes in the stocking?
Daddy Brad: Some little plastic crap that is going to be thrown away in a day or two.
Daddy Clay: I hate that though because it all ends up in the bottom of the toy box.
Daddy Brad: Stick with your nuts.
Daddy Clay: Plastic shrapnel. And you know what happens? It gets cleaned out next November when you are getting ready for Christmas again. All of that crap just goes out.
Daddy Brad: It’s tradition dude.
Daddy Clay: So why not take the smaller present and put them in the stocking. Say if the big present is like an iPod Nano, packaging is like that big. It goes in the stocking right?
Daddy Brad: It’s second class real estate. It is kind of like giving your honey a Cubic Zirconium engagement ring. It’s just second class, don’t do it you will get in trouble.
Daddy Clay: What is wrong with that?
Daddy Brad: I am just saying it is kind of like buying-
Daddy Clay: Are you judging people that give Cubic Zirconium? Or maybe-
Daddy Brad: No actually not.
Daddy Clay: Just the diamond flake because that is what they could afford?
Daddy Brad: The diamond flake. No and you ought to get a nice little diamond. But htat is not hwa tI am talking about, it’s the real estate man. It’s the real estate. The stocking is for crap. The real estate on the hearth is for the big, big gift. And the big gift doesn’t necessarily have to be big.
Daddy Clay: Well if you guys-
Daddy Brad: It just has to be important.
Daddy Clay: If you have thoughts about what goes in the stocking-
Daddy Brad: Crap.
Daddy Clay: Please drop us a comment. Because we have a stocking stuffer for you. It maybe the best ever we have had on the website.
Daddy Brad: I saw that.
Daddy Clay: All you have to do is drop us a comment to qualify for this, the Baby Bjorn Travel Crib Lite.
Daddy Brad: The prime real estate, this is not a stocking stuffer.
Daddy Clay: This thing is beautiful. It is about as hard to set up as throwing out a picnic blanket, amazing! You will stun your friends and family with this incredible-
Daddy Brad: I am thinking Santa gift.
Daddy Clay: Travel Crib, 10 pounds. Fantastic thing and all you have to do to qualify to win that is to leave us a comment.
Daddy Brad: It’s easy to put up.
Daddy Clay: This video or any video that went up this week whether it was the Lab or Owen or Gear, leave us a comment. You will qualify. We will have a drawing. And your Christmas present is going to be a fantastic. Do you know what the MSRP on that thing is? Like $250.
Daddy Brad: Yeah, yeah that is like Santa Claus premium spot.
Daddy Clay: I am telling you. So leave us a comment. Win the Baby Bjorn. Let us send you a Dad Labs Christmas present. Merry Christmas. That is all for us here at the lounge.
Daddy Brad: Oh fa-la-la-la baby I really am. Look at all this beautiful stuff.
Daddy Clay: Yeah Daddy Don did a really good job dressing the set trying to get us into the spirit.
Daddy Brad: Have you licked that yet?
Daddy Clay: It’s wax.
Daddy Brad: It’s a candy cane.
Daddy Clay: You know I am just not feeling it.
Daddy Brad: Come on dude it’s a festive season.
Daddy Clay: I am just not ready yet.
Daddy Brad: Joy, beer, joy.
Daddy Clay: I am just not ready yet, its premature. I understand that and I do enjoy the special holiday brew that we are having today.
Daddy Brad: Yes I do too.
Daddy Clay: Which is just white beer.
Daddy Brad: Yeah, why are you down? Why are you a little sad?
Daddy Clay: Well here is the thing I am imagining Christmas morning and I love Christmas morning. Kids come in, Santa presents are open. The paper flies they are so ecstatically happy. And then what happens is like the long, stretch of Christmas that I dread.
Daddy Brad: What is?
Daddy Clay: Which is I sit in the chair and the kids bring me their toys one by one and I am expected to take them out of the package.
Daddy Brad: Oh tough.
Daddy Clay: And install batteries,
Daddy Brad: Yes that is tough.
Daddy Clay: And each time they bring me a toy it is dangerous because the risk of injury is high, it’s tedious and it’s-it just drives me crazy.
Daddy Brad: Because they are encased in concrete and they are all tied up.
Daddy Clay: They’ve got that plastic that you have to have an ascetalin torch to get open and you may damage the toy while you are getting that plastic open.
Daddy Brad: Yes.
Daddy Clay: And it can cut you. It’s like a Ginsu wrapping the stuff.
Daddy Brad: Yes.
Daddy Clay: This plastic they make they also use for steak knives.
Daddy Brad: Yes.
Daddy Clay: So you cut yourself on that stuff and then you face the nightmare obstacle of the twisties.
Daddy Brad: Oh yeah millions of twisties.
Daddy Clay: How many twisties does it take people to put a Barbie in a box? Evidently about 75! And it is not just a twisty right? So you put the twisty around the dolls neck, through the cardboard and then into one of those like plastic holders right?
Daddy Brad: Yes, yes.
Daddy Clay: Then some person ties it who has like a third degree black belt Boy Scout degree. They tie it in some triple square knot.
Daddy Brad: Right.
Daddy Clay: And then they slap some tape over that son of a bitch!
Daddy Brad: Right they do that so that the package will not shift or the product will not shift in the package.
Daddy Clay: Are you kidding me?
Daddy Brad: For its long voyage from-
Daddy Clay: The packaging is indestructible. You need an A-bomb. You’ve got to put that thing under a concrete booger and blow it up.
Daddy Brad: Right.
Daddy Clay: And I always get tired of it like my maximum is like 8 twisties. And if that thing has 10 twisties I am just ripping that son of a bitch out.
Daddy Brad: Pretty much, pretty much.
Daddy Clay: I mean after 9 twisties I don’t care if he head comes off, all the legs pop off.
Daddy Brad: But the toy will make it here intact from China. That is why they do that.
Daddy Clay: I can’t stand it. And then you got to get those like vascular micro surgery like glasses on to put the batteries in whatever it is.
Daddy Brad: Yeah but you know why that is? That is collusion between toy manufacturers and tool manufacturers. There is no other reason to buy a screwdriver that is that big-
Daddy Clay: No you’ve got to go buy-
Daddy Brad: except to change that tiny little screw.
Daddy Clay: The microscopic screwdriver for the microscopic screws and so what if we –
Daddy Brad: You could eat one of those things and pass it and you wouldn’t even know that you had eaten it.
Daddy Clay: Why are batteries-when did batteries become like so dangerous they need a security system in the toy?
Daddy Brad: Yeah I don’t understand.
Daddy Clay: If you know-if you have any insight into when batteries-I remember when I was a kid there was just that little plastic latch. Like boom, boom open batteries go in. Thing closes and you are done.
Daddy Brad: But if you know like batteries themselves come in that plastic crazy titanium encased deal.
Daddy Clay: So if you have any insight into when packaging went totally insane and when batteries became dangerous please drop us a comment.
Daddy Brad: But light bulbs are wrapped in tissue paper.
Daddy Clay: I don’t know, drives you crazy. So the other thing that is on my mind-
Daddy Brad: Yeah?
Daddy Clay: Stockings. I am really worried about stockings this year.
Daddy Brad: Why what’s your worry?
Daddy Clay: Well my question is like what goes in the stocking versus what get wrapped?
Daddy Brad: Apples, nuts, candy and crap. That is a stocking stuffer.
Daddy Clay: I know but that is terrible.
Daddy Brad: That’s the way it is dude.
Daddy Clay: There has got to be a different-so nothing, no present no matter the dimension goes in the stocking?
Daddy Brad: Some little plastic crap that is going to be thrown away in a day or two.
Daddy Clay: I hate that though because it all ends up in the bottom of the toy box.
Daddy Brad: Stick with your nuts.
Daddy Clay: Plastic shrapnel. And you know what happens? It gets cleaned out next November when you are getting ready for Christmas again. All of that crap just goes out.
Daddy Brad: It’s tradition dude.
Daddy Clay: So why not take the smaller present and put them in the stocking. Say if the big present is like an iPod Nano, packaging is like that big. It goes in the stocking right?
Daddy Brad: It’s second class real estate. It is kind of like giving your honey a Cubic Zirconium engagement ring. It’s just second class, don’t do it you will get in trouble.
Daddy Clay: What is wrong with that?
Daddy Brad: I am just saying it is kind of like buying-
Daddy Clay: Are you judging people that give Cubic Zirconium? Or maybe-
Daddy Brad: No actually not.
Daddy Clay: Just the diamond flake because that is what they could afford?
Daddy Brad: The diamond flake. No and you ought to get a nice little diamond. But htat is not hwa tI am talking about, it’s the real estate man. It’s the real estate. The stocking is for crap. The real estate on the hearth is for the big, big gift. And the big gift doesn’t necessarily have to be big.
Daddy Clay: Well if you guys-
Daddy Brad: It just has to be important.
Daddy Clay: If you have thoughts about what goes in the stocking-
Daddy Brad: Crap.
Daddy Clay: Please drop us a comment. Because we have a stocking stuffer for you. It maybe the best ever we have had on the website.
Daddy Brad: I saw that.
Daddy Clay: All you have to do is drop us a comment to qualify for this, the Baby Bjorn Travel Crib Lite.
Daddy Brad: The prime real estate, this is not a stocking stuffer.
Daddy Clay: This thing is beautiful. It is about as hard to set up as throwing out a picnic blanket, amazing! You will stun your friends and family with this incredible-
Daddy Brad: I am thinking Santa gift.
Daddy Clay: Travel Crib, 10 pounds. Fantastic thing and all you have to do to qualify to win that is to leave us a comment.
Daddy Brad: It’s easy to put up.
Daddy Clay: This video or any video that went up this week whether it was the Lab or Owen or Gear, leave us a comment. You will qualify. We will have a drawing. And your Christmas present is going to be a fantastic. Do you know what the MSRP on that thing is? Like $250.
Daddy Brad: Yeah, yeah that is like Santa Claus premium spot.
Daddy Clay: I am telling you. So leave us a comment. Win the Baby Bjorn. Let us send you a Dad Labs Christmas present. Merry Christmas. That is all for us here at the lounge.
written by James and Amanda, December 06, 2009
Actually in our family some of the best gifts WERE from the stockings. Rings, Jewelry (even the kind for little girls, balls, toys already taken out of the package (action figures, smaller electrics, puzzles, books, iPod was a great idea), stockings were our favorite part... and then yes, the candy in the bottom. PS in another vid. you brought this out, but all the gifts from santa in our fam. were NOT wrapped for ease of parent's sanity.
written by Steve and Christine Emmick, December 10, 2009
This is a much deeper question than what to put in them. As you know, candy, the good kind, is prime realestate for most dads. A Hershey's big block, or better yet, a half pound sugar coma inducing bar of chocolate heaven fits real nice in the sock.
But I digress, where, once you've filled it with the goodies, do you place this prize? If you don't have a fireplace, there really is no good place to put it. You don't want it on top of the entertainment center, it'll block the view. You could tape it to the wall, but once you fill it with the bar of delight it's sure to fall, even with duct tape as an anchor. Same thing happens when you hang it on the tree, and you'll probably take down the rest of the ornaments with it.
By the way, we're expecting our fourth girl in a few days (December 15) and could really use that travel crib. Let us know if we win!
But I digress, where, once you've filled it with the goodies, do you place this prize? If you don't have a fireplace, there really is no good place to put it. You don't want it on top of the entertainment center, it'll block the view. You could tape it to the wall, but once you fill it with the bar of delight it's sure to fall, even with duct tape as an anchor. Same thing happens when you hang it on the tree, and you'll probably take down the rest of the ornaments with it.
By the way, we're expecting our fourth girl in a few days (December 15) and could really use that travel crib. Let us know if we win!
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ps: packaging... open the gifts before you wrap them, do all of the necessary operating procedures ie batteries and twisties... then wrap them... you will spen more time with the kids, and less time pulling out your hair!