We at the DadLabs think that Britney Spears is too easy a target, and that she has suffered enough at the hands of the media. That is why we would like to offer our services as Parenting Coaches. Watch us as we flash our creative parenting genius and make all those hollywood celebrity parenting experts look like novices. Take it from us, we're on the internet. DadLabs Ep. 202 The Lounge.

Daddy Clay: Welcome back down to the Lounge. I’m Daddy Clay.

Daddy Brad: I’m Daddy Brad.

Daddy Clay: This week we’re going to be talking a little bit about celebrating parenting news. Britney, recently, I don’t mean to pile on here, but Britney recently ordered by the courts to seek counseling from a parenting coach. And Brad and I just wanted just to toss our names in the hat.

Daddy Brad: Yeah, yeah. You know, Britney, you need us. You don’t need to go and find some Hollywood mumbo-jumbo, glitz and glam parenting coach. What you need is some good wholesome parenting advice from the trenches. From the trenches. Give us a call.

Daddy Clay: Dude, being a parenting coach is different from being a middle school football coach. You know that?

Daddy Brad: No, no. It’s pretty much the same.

Daddy Clay: You don’t wear a whistle, there’s no tight shorts involved, there’s no clipboards.

Daddy Brad: Well, there might be tight shorts with Britney. Could be – I mean, she could wear the right shorts cuz she wouldn’t …

Daddy Clay: Not any more…

Daddy Brad: I think you’re right. No, no, no – I think there’s a lot of similarities involved between parenting coaching and middle school football coaching. Middle school football, those kids, those little son-of-a-bitches don’t know anything.

Daddy Clay: That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said in the Lounge.

Daddy Brad: And you have to teach them about football and they don’t know anything about football. These parents, obviously they don’t know shit from shinola about parenting and you have to teach them about parenting.

Daddy Clay: That would require us to be parenting experts.

Daddy Brad: Well, no, we’ve just done it before. I didn’t go to school.

Daddy Clay: Because clearly – we are clearly not, despite what it may seem, we are not parenting experts. Do not listen to us.

Daddy Brad: No, you don’t have Daddy Clay Nichols CDB, CSDD, SYNC.

Daddy Clay: But this whole thing got me thinking that maybe, you know, I thinking that maybe I’m going to go through one of these, you know, licensing programs and maybe become a licensed parenting coach.

Daddy Brad: Who licenses you?

Daddy Clay: Because you get to go the parenting – I looked it up; I turned on the Google machine. Its right here, I have their website up. Parent Coaching Institute.

Daddy Brad: Do you have to take an eye test, kind of like getting a drivers license?

Daddy Clay: No, no. I mean what’s the fundamental skill for becoming a parent?

Daddy Brad: Well, sex.

Daddy Clay: I mean it’s not hard, that’s what I’m saying. So I’m thinking about it. Because if I – I think that maybe, if we’re gonna do this thing, you know be here on the interwebs and we’re gonna be talking about parenting then I think maybe one of us…

Daddy Brad: Should be licensed.

Daddy Clay: Should be an actual expert instead of just a couple of knuckleheads in a basement bar talking about poopy diapers.

Daddy Brad: Well you know, that’s parenting man. That’s what parenting is all about. What are the requirements? You have to have been a parent before I hope.

Daddy Clay: No. You have to have six thousand dollars. That’s pretty much the requirement.

Daddy Brad: Yeah – we’d have to work for a couple of…

Daddy Clay: They do have, I mean there’s financing…

Daddy Brad: For six grand?

Daddy Clay: …available. And if you want to defraud the government there’s also some special ways to finance it. But yeah, so I’m thinking I maybe want to be a parent coach and…

Daddy Brad: I think we just, I think we just…

Daddy Clay: I just want to bring legitimacy.

Daddy Brad: We don’t need the licensing. We are parent coaches. By God we’ve been parenting for a long time.

Daddy Clay: But it brings to question, there’s all these parent experts out there. Do you want from your parenting expert some kind of degree and/or – you know what I thing? Anyone who holds up themselves as a parenting expert – whenever they appear on TV or anywhere they should have to bring their damn kids...

Daddy Brad: Yeah.

Daddy Clay: I want to see your damn kids. If you’re a parenting expert, if you’re going to be a parenting expert – I want to say right now, I’m not a parenting expert okay? I’m a guy here in a studio; we’re talking about funny parenting things. But if you’re a parenting expert, I want to see your kids. I’d like to meet them. They’re busy because they’re in a frickin’ 28 day program out in the desert somewhere drying out.

Daddy Brad: You know that could be a good requirement for the Parent Coaching Institute. You don’t have to apply. You’re kids have to go through rigorous testing to see how well you’ve parented.

Daddy Clay: Yeah, how screwed up are your kids? That’s one thing that drives me crazy about all these parenting experts. I want to meet your kids. So how do you decide? So anyway, if you guys have got a parenting expert you like, somebody that you trust, you know? Please, drop us a comment. Tell us what you look for in a parenting expert. Obviously if you’re on this site you’ve got issues about that already but, if you’ve got a parenting expert you like, a book that you’ve read that gives smart advise drop us a comment and we’ll pick our favorite comment and that parent will get the special two-DVD Due Dads set.

Daddy Brad: Ooooh.

Daddy Clay: You’ll get the Guide to Pregnancy and you get the Guide to Labor and Delivery. So you’ll get your own parenting advice.

Daddy Brad: And I just want to say, I just want to say one last time you know – Britney, go ahead and call us and we will help you from the trenches. We’re not licensed by any organization, and we can’t help you with things like learning to wear underwear when you go out at night because sometimes I forget to wear underwear. But nobody knows because I wear jeans.

Daddy Clay: He’s not wearing any now.

Daddy Brad: But what we can help you with is parenting. We can kind of show you the way from the ground up.

Daddy Clay: I think we could probably help her with her substance issues too.

Daddy Brad: Yeah, probably so. Well, you know.

Daddy Clay: I mean help her with her substances.

Daddy Brad: She might like this place.

Daddy Clay: Getting them away.

Daddy Brad: She’d add a little pizzazz.

Daddy Clay: So Britney come on down next week. You can join us here at the DadLab Lounge.
Come on Britney…

Daddy Brad: You have slur issues.

Daddy Clay: …you can come sit down here and slur with us. That’s it for us. Thanks a lot.