In this episode of The Lab, Daddy Clay and Daddy Brad discuss equal division of parenting and domestic household chores. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, dishes, bath time, reading time - How much do these dads do? Is 50-50 a myth? Do tasks differ between men and women? Find out how their fatherhood, family, and marriage duties stack up. DadLabs ep. 71 The Lab.

Daddy Clay: Welcome back to the DadLabs Lounge. I'm Daddy Clay

Daddy Brad: And I'm Daddy Brad.

Daddy Clay: And today we're gonna be talking about the myth of "fifty fifty". That is the myth of completely equal domestic partnerships. Because although some men would like to claim that they're completely equal partners. What?

Daddy Brad: Myth? As if this is some kind of urban legend?

Daddy Clay: Yea, it's total crap.

Daddy Brad: This is not total crap.

Daddy Clay: Women come into marriage with very different expectations than men. Given this sort of post-feminist environment that we live in, women come to marriage with an expectation that men are going to be full and equal partners in all of the sort of domestic day to day chores of the household and raising children.

Daddy Brad: It's not a myth.

Daddy Clay: Yes it is. Men come into this whole deal with the expectation that if I do 15 or 20 percent of these domestic chores that you're doing one billion times better than your father did.

Daddy Brad: Ward Cleaver comes to the game saying "I can do 15 percent and get away with it." No more. It needs to be equal.

Daddy Clay: That's true. We're moving in that direction. We're making progress. We haven't reached perfection. I would say in my household anyway, we have not reached 50/50.

Daddy Brad: I'm gonna claim that my household's fifty/fifty.

Daddy Clay: You're full of crap

Daddy Brad: No, I think so.

Daddy Clay: You do not do half of all the domestic work. You do half of everything?

Daddy Brad: Let's define domestic work.

Daddy Clay: So all of the household duties, and let's qualify the time before work in the morning, and after worktime five and on, and on the weekends. This is the time period we're talking about. Not during the day when either someone's a stay at home or someone's working. Let's disregard this time. The space around the day and the weekends are what we're talking about. And you do half of everything?

Daddy Brad: Absolutely.

Daddy Clay: Bull crap.

Daddy Brad: Let's go now. Let's make a list.

Daddy Clay: Shopping. Do you do half the shopping?

Daddy Brad: I do not do half the shopping. There is more than just shopping. We're not just shoppers. There's more kinds of domestic work. I probably do about 25 percent of the shopping.

Daddy Clay: there you go. I probably do about zero percent of the shopping. Except I go with my wife and I manage the kids and I push the cart.

Daddy Brad: That counts. We'll give you 10 percent.

Daddy Clay: I'm not making the list, but I'm going. Or I'm working the kids as she's shopping. So so far we're talking about not quite half.

Daddy Brad: Yea. I think that counts.

Daddy Clay: Cooking.

Daddy Brad: Are we doing cooking and cleaning?

Daddy Clay: No.

Daddy Brad: I probably do 25 percent of the cooking.

Daddy Clay: I grill. That's pretty much it. I never do a full meal, but according to my doctor, I'm eating grilled meat every night, and so I'm doing that, but I never doing the whole meal.

Daddy Brad: I do 25 percent.

Daddy Clay: So you claim 50 percent and so far you're like 25 percent of everything.
Daddy Brad: It evens out.

Daddy Clay: Ok, so dishes.

Daddy Brad: I do the majority of the dishes.

Daddy Clay: I do the dishes.

Daddy Brad: 75 percent of the dishes.

Daddy Clay: And I say 40/60 and you say 50/50. You just chime in when you think you're making progress on me here.

Daddy Brad: I'm making progress! 75 percent of the dishes. And you do 100 percent of the dishes. Your wife never lifts a little spongee pad?

Daddy Clay: Well, 90. So after the dishes are done, bath time/reading time. How much of that?

Daddy Brad: 85 percent.

Daddy Clay: 85 percent of the after dinner activities with the kids you do. So, your wife just goes to bed.

Daddy Brad: No, no she does other things. She does the bath sometimes. But I do the majority of the bath-time.

Daddy Clay: Ok, I'm losing a little ground there. I'm doing probably about 20 percent of the bath-time. And that includes reading/tucking in. All of that stuff.

Daddy Brad: I do most of that stuff.

Daddy Clay: I help with the reading. She takes some of the kids, I take some of the kids. I'm probably 50/50.

Daddy Brad: I made a little progress. Bing.

Daddy Clay: Ok, here's where I really take over. Extracurriculars. Maybe you don't have this, because I do all the driving for soccer practices, birthday parties. All of the stuff the kids are doing right now, I'm the man. I'm the carpool guy, I'm taking them, dropping them off, picking them up, all that stuff. You're probably not doing any of that.

Daddy Brad: No, I do some of that. My wife does 60, I do 40. Now she buys the birthday presents, because I have no idea what to buy.

Daddy Clay: I actually kinda like doing that, because it can kinda be a really good gig. You get credit for taking the kid to the birthday.

Daddy Brad: You stay at the birthday party.

Daddy Clay: No.

Daddy Brad: You don't stay? Get a little free time in there.

Daddy Clay: No, it's like a couple of hours.

Daddy Brad: Was that your car at D and Jim's the other day.

Daddy Clay: That was so me. Couple of hours. Drank a few beers, watching some sports on tv, the kid's bowling. Parents look a little strange at me when I pick the kid up. "Hey, did everybody have fun?"

Daddy Brad: Ha ha ha. That's good. I don't have sports activities to do, but I can't wait.

Daddy Clay: Now what about organizing family events? Like if your parents are coming to town, do you share in that planning.

Daddy Brad: I probably do 30 percent.

Daddy Clay: Now I do zero percent. Sometimes I call my mom and dad. Now, what about the doctor? Do you go to the doctor? Who takes the kids to the doctor?

Daddy Brad: I go to the doctor the majority of the time. 75 percent. Because my wife is actually making money at her job and those doctor visits are during the day, so I go to the doctor most of the time. 75 percent of the time.

Daddy Clay: So we divided up my house, my wife does the maintenance, and if there is a major emergency, I take care of that.

Daddy Brad: So, if a kid whacks the crap out of your kid with a pinata bat at a birthday party you would go to the emergency room?

Daddy Clay: Exactly, and that's why you won't catch any of us having pinatas at our birthday parties.

Daddy Brad: It's a pull string pinata. So 75 percent of doctor's visits.

Daddy Clay: I'm definitely... I've got broken arms and legs and sore throats and stitches. I do all that stuff.

Daddy Brad: You go to the emergency room for a sore throat?

Daddy Clay: Well, if it's a minor emergency. Yea. So if you add all that up...

Daddy Brad: Well, that's not all.

Daddy Clay: What else do you do? The yard?

Daddy Brad: Yea, the yard!

Daddy Clay: Taking care of fixing light-bulbs and stuff?

Daddy Brad: Yea, fixing light-bulbs. Domestic I think is defined as the house, so taking care of the yard and the house.

Daddy Clay: Bills?

Daddy Brad: 100 percent bills.

Daddy Clay: I don't do that.

Daddy Brad: I do the bills, I do the yard, I feed the dog, I take out the trash. Saturday, Sunday mornings. Do you get up with the kids? Who gets up with the kids?

Daddy Clay: They go turn the TV on.

Daddy Brad: No, man, you gotta interact with them. You're probably checking your email at those times. Maybe you outta do that. Good times. Maybe cook some waffles, some milk and cereal. Yea. I do 100 percent of that.

Daddy Clay: I'm probably 50/50.

Daddy Brad: Yea, your in there. I do Saturday mornings to make up for buying birthday presents.

Daddy Clay: Ok. So, I think we're gone through most of it. and I can't do the math, but you're no 50/50.

Daddy Brad: No, dude, what are you talking about? Ok, dropping the kids off to school and picking them up. 80 percent.

Daddy Clay: I'm doing about 50 percent of it. I think that if you are doing about 50 percent or greater of the domestic chores then you need to send us a comment and tell us what percentage you're doing. I think that most men are full of it, including Brad, when they claim that they are doing 50 percent of the domestic work.

Daddy Brad: I think that you are not very good at math.

Daddy Clay: 'Cause you're not.

Daddy Brad: But here's the deal. You outta do about 50/50. This is a partnership. The number one reason why you outta do your part is because who at night, when one party is out getting their snack on, stays at home with the kids? You do.

Daddy Clay: I got in trouble for getting my snack on.

Daddy Brad: Me too. I like to eat a lot of snacks.

Daddy Clay: And you know what? Chores make women happy.

Daddy Brad: Oh yea. Like foreplay happy. GRRRR....

Daddy Clay: Like yea. Maybe. Outside chance happy.

Daddy Brad: I know dude.

Daddy Clay: So clean the bathroom.

Daddy Brad: That's a good reason. 50/50.

Daddy Clay: That's all from DadLabs. You don't do 50/50.

Daddy Brad: Yes, I do.