Clasp hands and sing with us. Fee-lings! Whoa...whoa...whoa. Feelings. Something that the dads here at the Labs are not very good at is expressing romance. But that didn't stop us from trying to write heartfelt Valentine's Day letters and poetry to our patient wives. Kinda hoping to get lucky. We failed. In all ways. No sex for us. So we decided to go ahead and share our pathetic attempts at marital communication here in a video. We heart you. DadLabs Ep. 265 The Lab.

DADDY BRAD: Today we bring you a very special lab for a very special week.

DADDY CLAY: Some wise authors we know clued us in to the fact that on Valentine’s Day, our wives and partners don’t want all this crap, what they really want is a heartfelt letter expressing our true feelings.

DADDY BRAD: So we’re f**ked.

DADDY CLAY: Eventually, we did get usable letters but it took several drafts. What follows is a mash up of our Valentine’s that didn’t make the cut.

DADDY BRAD: We heart you.

DADDY DON: Dear Kara, You are so hot even after pushing two babies from your womb. And don't worry your uterus will go back down and you won't look like to have a big stomach anymore. I can't tell you how much I love your bosoms now that your breast feeding. Just talking about it makes me thirsty. I want you to know I really, really, really appreciate you and your hard work pushing them babies out, For this valentines day I understand our traditional, you know, that thing we do after dinner, the thing. Well I understand that's a no go. I was thinking maybe we could you know fool around in other ways. What do you think? If you're cool with this option. Put an x here. If you're not cool with this. Put an x here. Happy Valentines Day. Love, Don.

DADDY CLAY: Honey, when I think back on our relationship, it takes a long time. Wish you had yelled at me about not drinking so much back then so I could remember better. LOL. Because those days would make for a juicy Valentine, I bet. Ha ha. I know we’ve talked about making an effort, so I’ve given some serious thought to shaving my back. The problem is that I would need your help. Which I know is kind of gross, but we could make a game of it. You could carve your initials or funny shapes and take pictures to email to your friends. Also, thanks for all the food. You are an amazing cook, which is partially why I’m on the heavy side, so you can’t really be too upset about that. Love, Clay.

DADDY CLAY: That’s all for us here at the lab.

DADDY BRAD: If you’ve got a Valentine gift idea, or letter writing tip, just leave us a comment and you’ll automatically be registered for our weekly giveaway.